Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years,
instead
of going to their usual doctor, patients consider alternative medicines and treatments more viable. While
there are some benefits, I believe that this
is a negative development.
Some positive outcomes may facilitate people to try alternative cures. With the advanced
of technology, many medical knowledge and treatments are widely spread on the Internet. Replace the word
advancement
While
some of them might be given by authorities, who provide public
Correct article usage
the public
an
accurate way of Change preposition
with an
alleviate
their pain, it may be a useful way to prevent people with health problems Change the form of the verb
alleviating
to go
to the hospital. Change preposition
from going
For example
, methods for lessening the stomachache by doing massages on your own can act as an efficient treatments
rather than Correct the article-noun agreement
treatment
visit
the doctor. Wrong verb form
visiting
Also
, taking medicines that are more accessible, such
as pain killers
can greatly avoid Correct your spelling
painkillers
Add an article
the headache
a headache
headache
, which is much Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
economical
and time-saving.
Correct quantifier usage
more economical
However
, negative consequences can lead to the acceleration of illness and severer
health problems by not reaching for actual doctors. Correct your spelling
severe
First,
the
medical-related information online may not always shared by medical experts but Correct article usage
apply
people
who Change preposition
by people
also
lack suitable medical expertises
. By sharing Correct your spelling
expertise
those
information on their social media or online Correct determiner usage
this
platform
, they can generate income by selling medicines or medical equipment, which are illegal Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
as well as
ineffective. In addition
, taking pills without the doctor's diagnosis may contribute to over-consumption or over-reliant
on drugs, leading to harmful symptoms that can be life-threatening.
In conclusion, despite the fact that some beneficial outcomes can be Correct your spelling
over-reliance
done
by alternative medical behaviours, negative consequences can worsen Verb problem
achieved
the
health problems without professional medical Correct article usage
apply
helps
.Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure each point flows logically to the next. Use transition words more effectively to create a smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
Enhance your task achievement by providing more varied and specific examples to support your argument. This will strengthen your response and illustrate your points better.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction and concludes with a summarizing statement, effectively framing your argument.
complete response
The topic is generally addressed well, with a clear stance on the issue provided at the beginning.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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