In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
There are lots of professional sports where a growing number of
athletes
use several types of banned substances to increase their result
. I believe that they do it because they want to achieve the highest level in their field without giving their all. And one of the solutions is to completely disengage those kinds of Fix the agreement mistake
results
athletes
from any official competitions for a long period.
I think the main point of this
phenomenon is that sportsmen and sportswomen are interested in reaching the high level with the least amount of zeal. This
behaviour is mostly because of people's laziness to achieve goals instead
of hard work. People want to get fast results in the short term, but that is
not how it works. To reach any goals
, Fix the agreement mistake
goal
it
needs to Correct pronoun usage
one
be sacrificed
Wrong verb form
sacrifice
with
time and a lot of work; Change preposition
apply
however
, those kinds of athletes
do not understand it or do not want to make sacrifices. For example
, bodybuilding,
is all about discipline and sacrifices, and with Remove the comma
apply
this
mindset, it takes much more time in comparison with using any banned and fast ways to bulk muscles like steroids.
Now, let's talk about solutions. To protect cheating athletes
from professional competitions, it needs to increase the level of lax testing systems. By improving lax testing systems, it will be more fair to athletes
and sportswomen too. Because they do not have to compete with cheaters. It is well known that it can't be done in all competitions, especially small ones. But, at least, this
mistake could be avoided from bigger stages.
In conclusion, people are doing it as we are sad because they wish to get huge results in a short time, and the solution for this
might be increasing the lax testing system and having huge consequences.Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on
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task achievement
Clarify the ideas more comprehensively. The essay touches upon the causes and solutions, but the explanations could be expanded with more detailed reasoning and exploration of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to convey ideas. While the essay presents the main points adequately, employing a wider range of vocabulary would enhance expression and clarity.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for main points with more specific examples. The current examples are relevant but could be more detailed to provide a clearer picture and stronger support for the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and provides structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is present. The essay moves logically from describing the issue to proposing solutions.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying causes and solutions, which is essential for a complete task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.