IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples.

#traffic #accidents #age #limit #drivers #ones
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Nowadays, some
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
believes
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believe
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, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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accidents
has
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have
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 been done by
the
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apply
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teenagers because of their
age
 limit and others be like
elder
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older
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 ones. In
this
 essay, I strongly believe that elder
people
’s
age
 limit to be reduced because of their lack of driving,
less
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and less
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concentration
to
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them
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apply
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.
Firstly
, elder
people
 are really difficult to
drive
 vehicles
due to
 the
age
 factor. Especially, they have some physical challenges to
drive
.
For instance
, old
age
people
drive
the
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apply
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vehicle
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vehicles
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 continuously so they feel very tired,
also
 they
would
Verb problem
are
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 not able to control
much
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many
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 things.
In
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Additionally
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additionally
,
people
 who are
in
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elder
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older
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age
, they are
insufficient
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unable
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 to
drive
a
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apply
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long
distance
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distances
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,
it
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so it
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 could
more
Add a missing verb
be more
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challenges
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challenging
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 for them to take over.
On the other hand
, elder
age
 persons
having
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have
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 less
concentration
due to
 their insight problems.
For example
, they are working in a transport company, they are carrying goods to other location, it might
be take
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take
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 more than a day, in
this
 condition they feel alone, thinking about their families so they could less
concentration
while
 they
drive
 a truck or lorry or bus.
Moreover
, they can
feel
Verb problem
fall
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sleep
Correct your spelling
asleep
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 because of continuous driving,
this
 kind of action
occurs to be
Verb problem
results in
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 an accident and
its
Correct your spelling
is
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 more risk for their life and others.
To conclude
, I strongly agree
with
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that
elder
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elderly
show examples
 one
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not suitable to
drive
the
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apply
show examples
vehicles because of
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 less
concentration
 and
aware
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awareness
show examples
 of driving
due to
 their
age
 factors so the government should
be take
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take
show examples
 some action
for
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apply
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to reduce the
age
 limit for them.
While
 taking
this
 action,
consequently
 we could control and reduce the accidents.
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline both sides of the argument in the introduction and conclude with a balanced viewpoint if choosing such a position.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively and engage the reader.
coherence
Ensure that your essay flows logically from one point to the next by using transitions effectively between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
You have identified a clear stance in your introduction, giving your opinion on the issue presented.
coherence
The essay showcases a clear main point, focusing on the challenges faced by elderly drivers.
task achievement
You attempted to provide examples to support your argument, which strengthens the essay's persuasiveness.
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