IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that no one should do the same job for all their working life. Others argue that doing the same job brings advantages for individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #life #individuals #companies #society
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Apparently
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Apparently,
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indvesuals
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individuals
 are different
on
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in
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 how
thew
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they
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 want to
pruse
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pursue
 their career. Some
wants
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want
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 to have one
jop
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job
 and master it which
make
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makes
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 them renowned in their field. and become the reference that people go back to when they need something about their field.
while
Linking Words
 others
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prefer
preafer
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prefer
 to keep moving and trying a lot of different jobs,
new
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and new
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 aspects and try being
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in front
infront
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in front
 opportunities and having flexible
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career
carrer
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career
 People who
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pursue
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 stable
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 are usually
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
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 Seek job security and
Submitted by pixvz0 on

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task achievement
Expand on both views regarding the advantages and disadvantages of sticking to one job versus changing jobs frequently. Provide more examples and reasons for each side of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by adding connectors and linking words. Organize ideas into clear paragraphs for each view discussed and ensure balance between both arguments.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic effectively and begins to explore the differing viewpoints.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide reasoning for why people may choose either a stable or flexible career path.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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