More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a morden life style which can not be treated with morden medicines. Some people think that a return to a traditional medicine should be encouraged. To what extend to you agree?

A modern lifestyle causes health problems, and they cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that we should return to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional medicines to cure these health problems. I completely disagree with
this
viewpoint because traditional medicines have side effects, and they cannot provide
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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to modern health problems.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Provide a stronger introduction with a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points.
task achievement
Include more detailed support for your main arguments and address a wider range of perspectives related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure that ideas flow logically throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your key points and restating your overall argument clearly.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, showing a willingness to engage with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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