The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The aim of
this
report is to describe the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from the
year
1981 to the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007. The data is based on a graph.
Overall
, the three jam types are:
butter
,
margarine
and other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
and reduced spreads. At the beginning of the
analysis
Add a comma
analysis,
show examples
it can be seen that
butter
and
margarine
had already been known
whereas
other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
and reduced spreads came into play only in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1996. Given the
data
Add a comma
data,
show examples
it can be seen that from the start
butter
was the most popular choice until 1991 when
margarine
took its place and
butter
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
been declining ever since
that
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
.
While
the
margarine
reached its top in 1991 and had been steadily used till 1996 it wasn’t always the first choice as people chose
butter
more until 1991 and after 2006.
Moreover
, in 2001 other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
and reduced spreads had reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
peak
and instantly started dropping again but
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
still used the most in 2007. As usual, most graphic analysis has a
peak
and
fluctuates
Correct subject-verb agreement
fluctuate
show examples
up and down later, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
margarine
broke
this
stereotype and stayed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
its
peak
for five years
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
1991 and 1996. The
butter
’s
peak
was in 1986 and gradually going down it never had any other peaks. And
while
low fat and reduced spreads were only found in 1996 it reached its
peak
in five years and matched the
margarines
Change the wording
margarine
kinds of margarine
portions of margarine
show examples
use of that
year
and had been on top of other jams until the analysis was finished. Generally, both the
butter
and the
margarine
had been on top of the most used spread for 10 years until other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
and reduced spreads took the top. All of them had their peaks and usually made a notable trip down after.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, butter, margarine, peak with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 5 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • upward trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • popular
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