The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1981- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant.
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The aim of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

report is to describe the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from the
year
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

1981 to the
year
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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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2007. The data is based on a graph.
Overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the three jam types are:
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
margarine
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and other
low fat
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low-fat

It seems that low fat is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and reduced spreads. At the beginning of the
analysis
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analysis,

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it can be seen that
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
margarine
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had already been known
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other
low fat
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low-fat

It seems that low fat is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and reduced spreads came into play only in the
year
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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1996. Given the
data
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data,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Given the data. Consider adding a comma.

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it can be seen that from the start
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was the most popular choice until 1991 when
margarine
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

took its place and
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had
Wrong verb form
has

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb had. Consider changing it.

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been declining ever since
that
Correct your spelling
then

The word that doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
margarine
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

reached its top in 1991 and had been steadily used till 1996 it wasn’t always the first choice as people chose
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more until 1991 and after 2006.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2001 other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat

It seems that low fat is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and reduced spreads had reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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peak
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and instantly started dropping again but
was
Change the verb form
were

The singular verb was does not appear to agree with the plural subject spreads. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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still used the most in 2007. As usual, most graphic analysis has a
peak
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
fluctuates
Correct subject-verb agreement
fluctuate

It seems that the verb fluctuates does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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up and down later, but
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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margarine
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

broke
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

stereotype and stayed
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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its
peak
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for five years
during
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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1991 and 1996. The
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s
peak
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was in 1986 and gradually going down it never had any other peaks. And
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

low fat and reduced spreads were only found in 1996 it reached its
peak
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in five years and matched the
margarines
Change the wording
margarine
kinds of margarine
portions of margarine

It appears that margarines is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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use of that
year
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and had been on top of other jams until the analysis was finished. Generally, both the
butter
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the
margarine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had been on top of the most used spread for 10 years until other
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat

It seems that low fat is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and reduced spreads took the top. All of them had their peaks and usually made a notable trip down after.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, butter, margarine, peak with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • upward trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • popular
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