Nowadays, there are many TV shows that allow ordinary people to go on television and become celebrities, even though really, they have no talent. People should not be allowed to go on TV shows unless they can demonstrate some skill or talent that is entertaining. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#tv #people #television #celebrities #talent #skill

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Today, there are many

Use synonyms

shows that ordinary

people

Use synonyms

can apply to freely. Ocassionary, these

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

make a common

Use synonyms

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

a celebrity,

such

Linking Words

as Susan Boil in a

pupular

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popular

audition

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program, God Talent, in the UK.

However

Linking Words

, it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

true that some

people

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with no talent or an

excell

Correct your spelling

excellent

excel

performance are

showed

Change the form of the verb

shown

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity how we consider whether it is acceptable or not to

this

Linking Words

question statement, the

anwer

Correct your spelling

answer

varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the personal traits. All in all, I agree with the

the

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apply

show examples

statement for two reasons as follows. First and foremost, I believe that the function of

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is for public benefit, i.e., if the

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show

cannnot

Verb problem

cannot

show examples

contribute to creating happiness

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for

show examples

people

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who watch it, it should not be

broadcasted

Wrong verb form

broadcast

show examples

. Needless to say,

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gives our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

great impacts.

For example

Linking Words

, we can understand what is

happning

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happening

in the domestic or the

wolrd

Correct your spelling

world

with it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, public broadcasting services

has

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have

show examples

to have

reliabitity

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reliability

of their programs’ quality.

Second,

Linking Words

but not

less

Rephrase

least

show examples

importantly, there are a lot of good platforms to show

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

indibidual perfomances

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individual performances

, e.g.,

Youtube

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YouTube

show examples

and

Instagrams

Fix the agreement mistake

Instagram

show examples

. If you can make the most of these services, you are able to not only post your videos

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apply

show examples

all over the world but

also

Linking Words

get core fans. These

sevices

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services

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more suitable for

amature

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amateur

perfomers

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performers

. In conclusion, I believe the crux of

this

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question statement is that

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is a public service, which

sholud

Correct your spelling

should

be used as an important asset for

people

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, if you should choose optimal platforms like social network

sevices

Correct your spelling

services

, your dream

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

come true.

That is

Linking Words

my view.

Submitted by hide8335 on Mon Oct 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the placement of your ideas to maintain a more logical structure throughout the essay. Currently, the flow is occasionally disrupted by sudden transitions, which may confuse the reader.

task achievement

Some examples provided need more detail or explanation to clearly demonstrate how they support your arguments. For instance, the example with Susan Boyle should be directly tied to supporting your point on talentless individuals being celebrities.

language accuracy

Check for minor spelling and grammatical mistakes, such as 'ocassionalry', 'pupular', 'indibidual' etc. Enhancing these can polish your writing quality significantly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments and closing your discussion.

task achievement

You answered the task reasonably well by presenting two main reasons supporting your viewpoint, which is a solid approach to arguments in a persuasive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

celebrities
demonstrate
entertaining
talent
skills
motivate
diverse
relatable
personal growth
financial mobility
social mobility
cultural diversity
platform
voice
standards
rewarded
content
quality
opportunities
television industry

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Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.