Nowadays, there are many TV shows that allow ordinary people to go on television and become celebrities, even though really, they have no talent. People should not be allowed to go on TV shows unless they can demonstrate some skill or talent that is entertaining. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Today, there are many
TV
shows that ordinary people
can apply to freely. Ocassionary, these programms
make a common Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
people
a celebrity, Fix the agreement mistake
person
such
as Susan Boil in a pupular
audition Correct your spelling
popular
TV
program, God Talent, in the UK. However
, it is a
true that some Change the article
apply
people
with no talent or an excell
performance are Correct your spelling
excellent
excel
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
in
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
TV
.
Admitting that it is a matter of relativity how we consider whether it is acceptable or not to this
question statement, the anwer
varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the personal traits. All in all, I agree with the Correct your spelling
answer
the
statement for two reasons as follows.
First and foremost, I believe that the function of Remove the redundancy
apply
TV
is for public benefit, i.e., if the TV
show cannnot
contribute to creating happiness Verb problem
cannot
of
Change preposition
for
people
who watch it, it should not be broadcasted
. Needless to say, Wrong verb form
broadcast
TV
gives our lifes
great impacts. Correct your spelling
lives
For example
, we can understand what is happning
in the domestic or the Correct your spelling
happening
wolrd
with it. Correct your spelling
world
Therefore
, public broadcasting services has
to have Change the verb form
have
reliabitity
of their programs’ quality.
Correct your spelling
reliability
Second,
but not less
importantly, there are a lot of good platforms to show Rephrase
least
the
Correct article usage
apply
indibidual perfomances
, e.g., Correct your spelling
individual performances
Youtube
and Correct your spelling
YouTube
Instagrams
. If you can make the most of these services, you are able to not only post your videos Fix the agreement mistake
Instagram
to
all over the world but Change preposition
apply
also
get core fans. These sevices
Correct your spelling
services
is
more suitable for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
amature
Correct your spelling
amateur
perfomers
.
In conclusion, I believe the crux of Correct your spelling
performers
this
question statement is that TV
is a public service, which sholud
be used as an important asset for Correct your spelling
should
people
. However
, if you should choose optimal platforms like social network sevices
, your dream Correct your spelling
services
would
come true. Wrong verb form
will
That is
my view.Submitted by hide8335 on
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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the placement of your ideas to maintain a more logical structure throughout the essay. Currently, the flow is occasionally disrupted by sudden transitions, which may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Some examples provided need more detail or explanation to clearly demonstrate how they support your arguments. For instance, the example with Susan Boyle should be directly tied to supporting your point on talentless individuals being celebrities.
language accuracy
Check for minor spelling and grammatical mistakes, such as 'ocassionalry', 'pupular', 'indibidual' etc. Enhancing these can polish your writing quality significantly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments and closing your discussion.
task achievement
You answered the task reasonably well by presenting two main reasons supporting your viewpoint, which is a solid approach to arguments in a persuasive essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.