In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some countries, people make
children
believe that they can have whatever they want by hard working
. Replace the word
work
This
message comes with several advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed in this
essay.
To start with advantages
, the main benefit of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
sentence is that children
may realise the true value of hard working
. They learn that if they seek any type of achievement, Replace the word
work
such
as career or academic achievement, they have to put their affort
Correct your spelling
effort
in
it. There Change preposition
into
also
is an invisible massage
in it: it is Correct your spelling
message
imposible
to Correct your spelling
impossible
fulfill
your dreams by doing nothing. Change the spelling
fulfil
Therefore
, It encourages them to attempt for what they want. Furthermore
, this
notion carries a positive charge, giving children
a sense of self-steem
and confidence, which are two of the main factors in success.
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
However
, There
may be a couple of disadvantages as well. Fix capitalization
there
Firstly
, in some societies, the quality of life is extremely poor. So trying makes no difference sometimes. Moreover
, some children
are not given any opportunity to even try. In some other cases, kids
may have unrealistic desires which never comes
true neither with hard Correct subject-verb agreement
come
working
nor without it. Replace the word
work
For example
, a child might wish for having
all the money in the world. Change preposition
to have
Thus
, it is important to remind kids
to dream about real things not
imaginary ones.
In conclusion, it can be helpful to inform Add the comma(s)
, not
youngs
that success can be gained through Correct your spelling
young
tying
hard. It can encourage them to believe in themselves. Correct your spelling
trying
On the other hand
, this
sentence is meaningless in socienties
with social problems, where Correct your spelling
societies
kids
don't have any chance to work hard to fulfill
their dreams. It Change the spelling
fulfil
also
can be a tricky sentence, which may foster an unreal belief in kids
. They may assume they can reach whatever, even things they only see in fairytales.Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions for a smoother flow between ideas. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph presenting a distinct idea related to the topic. This enhances the coherence of your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your discussion of both advantages and disadvantages covers a wide scope, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
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