In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

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In some countries, people make

children

Use synonyms

believe that they can have whatever they want by hard

working

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work

show examples

This

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message comes with several advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed in

this

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essay. To start with

advantages

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the advantages

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, the main benefit of

this

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sentence is that

children

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may realise the true value of hard

working

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work

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. They learn that if they seek any type of achievement,

such

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as career or academic achievement, they have to put their

affort

Correct your spelling

effort

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into

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it. There

also

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is an invisible

massage

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message

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in it: it is

imposible

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impossible

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

your dreams by doing nothing.

Therefore

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, It encourages them to attempt for what they want.

Furthermore

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this

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notion carries a positive charge, giving

children

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a sense of

self-steem

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self-esteem

and confidence, which are two of the main factors in success.

However

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There

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there

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may be a couple of disadvantages as well.

Firstly

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, in some societies, the quality of life is extremely poor. So trying makes no difference sometimes.

Moreover

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, some

children

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are not given any opportunity to even try. In some other cases,

kids

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may have unrealistic desires which never

comes

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come

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true neither with hard

working

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work

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nor without it.

For example

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, a child might wish

for having

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to have

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all the money in the world.

Thus

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, it is important to remind

kids

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to dream about real things

not

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, not

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imaginary ones. In conclusion, it can be helpful to inform

youngs

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young

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that success can be gained through

tying

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trying

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hard. It can encourage them to believe in themselves.

On the other hand

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this

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sentence is meaningless in

socienties

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societies

with social problems, where

kids

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don't have any chance to work hard to

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their dreams. It

also

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can be a tricky sentence, which may foster an unreal belief in

kids

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. They may assume they can reach whatever, even things they only see in fairytales.

Submitted by ava.saljoughi on Mon Oct 07 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your essay, consider clarifying your points with more concrete examples. Specific examples can help to better illustrate your ideas and make your arguments more compelling to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraph transitions for a smoother flow between ideas. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that your essay has a complete structure. This makes your main ideas easy to identify.

logical structure

Your essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph presenting a distinct idea related to the topic. This enhances the coherence of your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your discussion of both advantages and disadvantages covers a wide scope, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

You share your room with another studer in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or She always has parties and friends visiting. write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

Literature is deemed by many high school students to be a boring and unneccessary subject. Why is this in case? Is literature of any use to young people at all?

People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.