Today our communications,medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree wiht this statement?

#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation #wiht

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In modern years,technologies play

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role in our daily routine.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, communication, Pharmacy and travelling can not work without ICT. Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that it leads to dangerous consequences and I partially agree with them. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will prove my side.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we have seen a difference in the way we communicate since computer technology was innovated when compared to before its existence. The ease of communication we enjoy today can be linked to the advancement of computer technology.

For example

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, it is easier to keep in touch with family when living abroad. We are able to make video calls which significantly helps

people

Use synonyms

cope with loneliness when away from friends and family.

Also

Linking Words

, meeting new

people

Use synonyms

of similar

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

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is easier thanks to technology,

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

increases exposure to meeting dangerous

people

Use synonyms

On the contrary

Linking Words

, few

people

Use synonyms

would argue that

this

Linking Words

reliance would lead to a destructive path. There are some disadvantages

Change preposition

show examples

it, as it may reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

manpower and

subsequently

Linking Words

resulting

Wrong verb form

result

show examples

in unemployment.

In addition

Linking Words

as a result

Linking Words

of technical errors,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

may even cause fatal issues in hospitals. But I believe, these all might occur

due to

Linking Words

negligence and without

this

Linking Words

development

Add a comma

development,

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it is hard to sustain in

this

Linking Words

modern era.

To conclude

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, everything is becoming computerized, and it has its own merits and demerits. In my opinion, if humans act

accordingly

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and deal with

this

Linking Words

in a cautious manner, it will help to attain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tremendous growth in all fields. Rather than complaining about the few drawbacks, one can utilise and enjoy the immense benefits provided by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computers.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Oct 07 2024

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task response

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for setting up the essay structure. However, try to strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples and details to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical progression of ideas, but it could benefit from more explicit transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence. This will make the essay flow more naturally and help the reader follow your arguments more easily.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting up and wrapping up the discussion effectively.

task response

An attempt to present both sides of the argument is evident, indicating a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Today our communications,medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree wiht this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their and attention to studying for qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?