Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays, many kids spend a huge amount of time on their mobiles,

however

, it is caused by irresponsibility and modern upbringing.

Furthermore

this

essay thinks the given event is not a good trend because it makes children addicted and cruel. In terms of precipitation, the problem is caused by parents because most of them do not have enough time and spend a significant amount of it on work, so children are alone and the only cheer is a phone where they can chat and play games with friends.

Therefore

,it is a crucial part of the lifestyle ,now.

For instance

,in the US, in the first grade, 90% of pupils use mobiles daily and almost the same

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of parents do not watch

this

problem.

On the contrary

, any person can find anything that he wants and it isn't restricted by the government in many countries. Kids are people and they can see a lot of cruel videos or news that have a negative effect on them,

moreover

, sometimes it breaks the psychological health of kids and causes mental diseases.

For example

, Some research has shown that pupils who spend more than 2 hours on their phones have a higher chance of catching diseases ,

such

Altzheimer

Correct your spelling

Alzheimer

or Syndrome of Down. In conclusion, it is a negative tendency.

Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on Mon Oct 07 2024

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task achievement

Develop your ideas further, particularly in giving more examples and analysis of why smartphone usage is high and how it affects children.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by using more linking devices between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all your points are thoroughly supported with examples and explanations to provide a full response to the question.

coherence cohesion

The essay gives a clear introduction to the topic and a well-defined conclusion, providing a good framework.

task achievement

The main points of the essay are relevant to the topic and address both the reasons for the issue and its implications.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, schools are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Genetic engineering and modification techniques are becoming more advanced, raising ethical questions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of genetic modification?