In some countries young people are encouraged to work r travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
teenagers are asked to either travel or do a job after completing their school and before entering a professional course.
This
Linking Words
approach has a few pros and cons.
This
Linking Words
essay will try to delve into both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects.
To begin
Linking Words
with, on the positive side,
this
Linking Words
trend can give practical experience to the
students
Use synonyms
of their abilities and drawbacks. Indeed, if a student is aware of his capabilities and limitations, he can choose his
future
Use synonyms
options
accordingly
Linking Words
, because
this
Linking Words
gap gives them time to introspect and decide their
future
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, Indian businessman Ratan Tata, worked in a motor workshop before joining the Tata Group just to make
his
Change preposition
up his
show examples
mind
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whether
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
he
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be able
handle
Add the particle
to handle
show examples
the company or not.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is always fruitful to have some free time before choosing
future
Use synonyms
professional
studies
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, on the downside,
this
Linking Words
option could possibly cause
students
Use synonyms
to leave their interest in
studies
Use synonyms
. In fact, when
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
travel they may find
this
Linking Words
life more comfortable, as they are free from the burden of reading and homework.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when they work they start
earing
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
can play with their psychology,
as a result
Linking Words
, they could possibly opt not to study
further
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
a survey report, in the USA, one of the major
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
behind college dropout
students
Use synonyms
is that they started working before their higher
studies
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they were earning some money from their jobs and they find
studies
Use synonyms
useless.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
approach could deviate
students
Use synonyms
from their
future
Use synonyms
goals.
To sum up
Linking Words
, undoubtedly, a job or travel before professional courses help
students
Use synonyms
to have a
first hand
Add a hyphen
first-hand
show examples
experience about their strengths and weaknesses, but, it could
also
Linking Words
hinder them from studying
further
Linking Words
, as they are earning without holding a professional degree.
Submitted by mrsdns on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas to enhance overall clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point, and use linking phrases more effectively.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
There is a satisfactory attempt to answer the question directly and discuss both sides of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: