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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph consists of a
number
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 made by five different countries from 2007 to 2009.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one main point that can be well observed is the
number
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 produced in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country A, which is far more than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 other
ones
Check wording
countries
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another report which is noticed is the second column
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has increased in 2009
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 76 movies.
However
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
last
Linking Words
 three lands have way less than the other two countries.
While
Linking Words
 the first and second
column
Fix the agreement mistake
columns
show examples
 have a
number
Use synonyms
 which is over 50
films
Use synonyms
, the
last
Linking Words
 three reports have made a
number
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 between 0 and 25 productions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, comparing them,it can be observed
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 similarities
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are in 2008.
Although
Linking Words
 these lands have a
various
Correct word choice
varying
show examples
 percentage in the production of movies, the most developed year was indeed 2008,which
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 an estimated average of big success in
this
Linking Words
 industry .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, films with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Film production
  • Trends
  • Consistently
  • Significant
  • Comparisons
  • Patterns
  • Increased/Decreased
  • Analyzed
  • Anomalies
  • Industry changes
  • Economic factors
  • Cultural aspects
  • Collectively
  • Overall trend
  • Reported
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