The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children’s health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

#children #countries #people #food #outlets #parents #children’s #health

Childhood obesity

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

rising in

first world

Add a hyphen

first-world

show examples

nations at an unprecedented rate in recent times. Certain people argue that

this

issue is mainly

due to

consumption

Correct article usage

the consumption

show examples

of junk

food

while

others argue that

this

problem solely depends on the

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

supervision and guidance. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and will state my opinion.

Firstly

, the number of

fast

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

food

restaurants in recent times

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

increased in number. The ability to compete for land and locate near institutions significantly increases

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student traffic during lunch hours.

Secondly

, the increase in

food

prices, convenience and

twenty four

Add a hyphen

twenty-four

show examples

hours

availablity

Correct your spelling

availability

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

led to the preference of consuming

this

Western diet.

In addition

, schools don't teach students how to prepare a healthy meal or never include it as a life course for students. These factors together

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

the children towards unhealthy diet consumption

Fastfood

Correct your spelling

Fast food

show examples

restaurants cannot be totally blamed for

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Parents

in industrialized nations are busy with their work responsibilities on a daily basis, which leads to circumstances where children are left alone on their own to make decisions. The disposable income

that is

provided by

parents

to negotiate time and lack of time spent on educating children on consuming healthy

food

have

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

obestity

Correct your spelling

obesity

epidemic. In conclusion, the problem cannot be totally pointed towards the fast

food

restaurants and

parents

also

must

Verb problem

show examples

held accountable for improving the

overall

health of these youngsters by guiding them towards a healthy diet by being an example themselves.

Submitted by onlineconsumer on Tue Oct 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

example

Ensure that examples provided in support of your points are specific and relevant. This can strengthen your arguments.

conclusion

Conclude the essay by summarizing key points more explicitly. This will enhance your overall response.

argumentation

You have clearly outlined and acknowledged both perspectives regarding the rise in childhood obesity.

structure

Your introduction and conclusion are present and sufficiently clear, outlining your stance effectively.

cohesion

The logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, with transitions helping guide the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
developed countries
fast food outlets
sedentary lifestyle
calories
fat
sugar
weight gain
convenience
affordability
nutrition
healthy eating habits
socioeconomic status
access to
government policies
regulations
advertising restrictions
holistic approach
intervention

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
There are widely differing views on the issue that the best way of improving health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, while others think that sports is not enough for the improved health in the society. I personally believe that just sports cannot improve the health of people and other aspects of the people's life should be taken into account, too. There are two principle reasons for this.
4.5
band
Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in the developing countries. Howevever, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
I agree with the statement that introducing new technology can people’s quality of life in the developing countries. However being educated in order for this new technology to arise without exploitation or any corruption towards the people in these developing countries. They are both very important points, but in my opinion, one leads to the other.
5
band
'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?
Nowadays by expanding the Internet, individuals are facing many new social media. Using these facilities has benefits and drawbacks.
5
band
You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course in a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. Write a letter to the admissions tutor: explain your position apologise and offer to come on another day or later the same day. ask how long the interview will be and whether there will be any tests during it.
I am writing this letter to inform about an interview which your college will plan to conduct on next month. Initially, I need to apologize, because I can't to appear in this interview. My name is James, and next month your college has planned to conduct an interview for Maters in Business courses and also I got the interview invitation card from your college administration office.
7
band
In many countries, the consumption of fast food is becoming more and more popular. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend for individuals and for society as a whole.
There are increasing consumption of fast food amongst society in many countries and this phenomenon is giving benefits and drawbacks both for people and society. In this essay, we will discuss both perspectives.

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children’s health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in the developing countries. Howevever, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

In many countries, the consumption of fast food is becoming more and more popular. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend for individuals and for society as a whole.