Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v

Most of the learners like to be part of extra-curricular
activities
in school
such
as sports, music and
english
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English
show examples
clubs
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of joining non-academic programs in a university. On a positive note, attending organizations
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
a university will help the enrollees to have an identity in a community.
Firstly
, foreign and freshman
students
are the ones who would mostly
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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on
Change preposition
from
show examples
having
clubs
where they might have social and emotional support to belong.
Secondly
, talent and skills will be polished
further
by these groups. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, musically inclined
students
will have an
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to
peform
Correct your spelling
perform
recital and learn instruments by joining music
clubs
.
As a result
, these group organizations create study-life balance. On one hand,
students
may encounter difficulties
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
time
management. By
being involve
Change the verb form
being involved
show examples
in these organizations,
time
and energy will be divided between academic and non-academic things.
As a result
, struggling
students
may find it hard to pass academic subjects because of mismanaged
time
and energy.
Due to
learners focusing most of their attention on non-academic
activities
rather than studying
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
their upcoming exams. Another disadvantage would be these
clubs
will become gateways
in
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to
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joining illegal acts. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, parties and gatherings in social
clubs
that would involve alcohol, drugs and petty crimes are appealing to
students
. In conclusion, outside academic
activities
such
as music and dance
clubs
may have both positive and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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students
. The advantages may include social and emotional belongingness, enhancement of talent and harmonious balance between studies and personal life. Meanwhile, the disadvantages
such
as
time
management issues and involvement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
illegal
activities
.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer and more concise introduction to set the context for the essay. Mention the specific non-academic programs you will discuss.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are equally developed. Some points, like those on illegal activities, could be expanded for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words or phrases to enhance coherence and show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar words or phrases (e.g., 'non-academic'), and instead use synonyms for variety.
task achievement
You effectively highlight both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra-curricular activities
  • soft skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • communication skills
  • workplace
  • mental and physical well-being
  • stress
  • physical fitness
  • balanced lifestyle
  • academic performance
  • network
  • time mismanagement
  • academic responsibilities
  • financial strain
  • membership fees
  • equipment purchases
  • travel expenses
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