The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The diagram illustrates how the

sugar

Use synonyms

is made from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane.

Overall

Linking Words

, it undergoes seven stages which

starts

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start

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with growing the

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

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and

concludes

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conclude

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with drying and cooling of

sugar

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. To start with,

sugar

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canes

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are planted and grown. After twelve to eighteen months, they are matured enough to be harvested. There are two ways to harvest the

sugar

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canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

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. People may use tools to harvest them,

in other words

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

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manpower, or use machines to do the harvesting. After that, the harvested

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Use synonyms

are put into a machine

that is

Linking Words

used for crushing. During

this

Linking Words

step, the

sugar

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canes

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, which are solid

original

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, are transformed

Change preposition

into

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a liquid. The

sugar

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cane juice is

then

Linking Words

purified by a limestone filter and

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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put into an evaporator. Inside the evaporator, the juice is heated

Change preposition

show examples

a high temperature and becomes syrup. It

then

Linking Words

processes the centrifuging step.

Sugar

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crystals are separated from syrup in

this

Linking Words

procedure.

Finally

Linking Words

, it passes through the

last

Linking Words

step of drying

as well as

Linking Words

cooling the processed materials, and

sugar

Use synonyms

is created.

Submitted by asllchkied on Tue Oct 08 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

177 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individual. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Yến linh

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

You were recently helped by an employee at the airport, write to the airport manager. In your letter:- - describe the problem - Talk about how you were helped - Suggest how to reward the employee