The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates how the
sugar
Use synonyms
is made from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, it undergoes seven stages which
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
with growing the
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
and
concludes
Change the verb form
conclude
show examples
with drying and cooling of
sugar
Use synonyms
. To start with,
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
are planted and grown. After twelve to eighteen months, they are matured enough to be harvested. There are two ways to harvest the
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
. People may use tools to harvest them,
in other words
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
manpower, or use machines to do the harvesting. After that, the harvested
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
are put into a machine
that is
Linking Words
used for crushing. During
this
Linking Words
step, the
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
, which are solid
original
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, are transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a liquid. The
sugar
Use synonyms
cane juice is
then
Linking Words
purified by a limestone filter and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
put into an evaporator. Inside the evaporator, the juice is heated
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
a high temperature and becomes syrup. It
then
Linking Words
processes the centrifuging step.
Sugar
Use synonyms
crystals are separated from syrup in
this
Linking Words
procedure.
Finally
Linking Words
, it passes through the
last
Linking Words
step of drying
as well as
Linking Words
cooling the processed materials, and
sugar
Use synonyms
is created.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: