Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?

These days social
media
is important in our lives.Most people think that social
media
namely : Instagram Twitter,Google Facebook and others, have a negative impact on
youngsters
.In my opinion ,I don’t think that social
media
is as bad as some people say .
Firstly
,if we
use
social
media
properly it can help us enough.Nowadays most businessmen
use
social
media
. Social
media
is important for their business .Even some teenagers earn money from social
media
. But the other side of the coin is that most
youngsters
use
social
media
for useless things.It is a serious problem for
youngsters
. Of course, it has a negative impact on their ability .The main part of them are teenagers but some of them are adults .If we all stopped using social
media
it would make a profit for
youngsters
,but it wouldn’t make a profit for businessmen. All in all, I do not mind using social
media
.Because social
media
gives me a lot of chances for my study .I mean social
media
is fine if we
use
it for useful things.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but it would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments made. This will help reinforce your points and make the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. While the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, the main body paragraphs could be better connected to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which gives the reader a clear overview of the topic and your stance.
task achievement
The essay touches on both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental
  • consequences
  • detract
  • alienation
  • isolation
  • overwhelming
  • vulnerable
  • sustainability
  • inadvertently
  • pervasive
  • exacerbate
  • undermine
  • curated
  • misleading
  • manipulation
  • gullible
  • fragmentation
  • repercussions
  • exploitation
  • impersonal
  • unproductive
  • cyber harassment
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