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Band 3

Many people believe that social networking sites (Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #society
These days social
media
 is important in our lives.Most people think that social
media
 namely : Instagram Twitter,Google Facebook and others ,
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a negative impact on
youngsters
 .In my opinion ,I don’t think that social
media
 is as bad as some people say .
Firstly
 ,if we
use
 social
media
 properly it can help us enough.Nowadays most businessmen
use
 social
media
 . Social
media
 is important for their business .Even some teenagers earn money from social
media
. But the other side of the coin is that most
youngsters
use
 social
media
 for useless things.It is
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
 problem
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
youngsters
.Of course, it has a negative impact on their ability .The main part of them are teenagers but some of them
adults
Add a missing verb
are adults
show examples
.If we all stopped using social
media
 it would make a profit for
youngsters
,but it wouldn’t make a profit for
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
. All in all,
I’m
Verb problem
I do
show examples
 not mind using social
media
 .Because social
media
 gives me a lot of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 for my study .I mean social
media
 is fine if we
use
 it for useful things !
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or statistics to support your points.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph for better clarity and depth.
task achievement
You've correctly identified the pros and cons of social media, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates awareness of the relevance of social media in modern business and social life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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