The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
it is widely claimed that American
Correct article usage
the American
film
industry greatly impact
Change the verb form
impacts
on
the local Change preposition
apply
film
industry across the globe, others argue that the
governments need to allocate their expenditures Correct article usage
apply
on
their own Change preposition
to
film
industries in order to protect and preserved
their cultures. The reasons why I agree with the latter statement Change the form of the verb
preserve
of
the governments can benefit the local team Change preposition
that
production
as well will be discussed further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seem sensible US film
industry influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
on
many Change preposition
apply
film
productions around the world. This
is possibly
because they always come up with Replace the adverb
possible
the
state-of-the-art Correct article usage
apply
idea
and techniques in filming, editing and Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
narating
Correct your spelling
narrating
narrative
film
in a creative and outstanding way that no one Fix the agreement mistake
films
ever
Add a missing verb
has ever
present
before. Take Avatar, Replace the word
presented
for example
; it is a renown
Replace the word
renowned
block buster
Correct your spelling
blockbuster
film
that captured the attention from
the public globally Change preposition
of
due to
it
fascinating graphics and Correct pronoun usage
its
make up
of Add a hyphen
make-up
the
extra-territorial characters. Correct article usage
apply
This
affect
Change the verb form
affects
film
production
to develop better techniques and graphics that aid the visuals in film
to be more realistic and aesthetic for Add an article
the film
a film
Add an article
the viewer
a viewer
viewer
to watch.
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
However
, I personally argue in favour of the authorities should support their local production
in order to preserved
their own fame and identity Change the verb
preserve
along with
seeing that it can promote the skills of their talented people. To simply explain, there is an evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
shows
that many local Wrong verb form
showing
production
crew
Fix the agreement mistake
crews
unable
to develop good Add a missing verb
are unable
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
due to
lack
of monetary support. In Correct article usage
a lack
this
sense, with the help from the authorities
Add a comma
authorities,
this
can really help in not only promoting their nation culturally but also
the skills of its people.
In summary, although
it is undeniable that American
Correct article usage
the American
film
industrdustry
may influence several nations' Correct your spelling
industry
film
, I am of the opinion that the government should support their own identity Fix the agreement mistake
films
in
rather than get influenced Change preposition
apply
from
Change preposition
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
instead
.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single argument or point. Consider using more data or specific examples to support your views. The cultural impact and economic benefits of local film industry investment could be elaborated further.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, try to organize your ideas more logically. The essay should have a clear progression from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph building on the last. Transitional phrases can help with this. Consider refining the introduction and conclusion to clearly outline and summarize the key points of your argument. Each paragraph should lead smoothly into the next.
task achievement
You have expressed clear support for your argument that governments should invest in local film industries, which is an excellent demonstration of presenting a viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay includes a relevant example with the mention of 'Avatar' to demonstrate the influence of the US film industry.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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