Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v
In
this
modern era, There are numerouse
Correct your spelling
numerous
students
that
tend to be in extra-curricular at their university like social clubs and sports. I personally Correct pronoun usage
who
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
this
approach can have many advantages and disadvantages, in other words
, this
is two sides of a penny but in my personal perspective, the advantages of this
approach outweigh the disadvantages due to
reasons will
be discussed in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, the Correct pronoun usage
that will
students
who have attend
Wrong verb form
attended
in
extra-curricular Change preposition
apply
activities
can develop of
their soft skills Change preposition
apply
such
as communication skills, improvement their teamwork and leadership. furthermore
mental and physical well-being Add a comma
furthermore,
are
progressed with these Unnecessary verb
apply
activities
, for instance
, in
during contribution Change preposition
apply
in
social clubs Change preposition
to
due to
meeting different peers with diversity
beliefs, the Replace the word
diverse
students
can learn how communicate
with other Add the particle
to communicate
students
and they can flourish their abilities like teamwork or leadership which are so valuable in the workplace. engaging in sports can alleviate their stress and improve their physical fitness as well
on the other hand
, drawbacks of being in extra-curricular
programme can be Add an article
the extra-curricular
an extra-curricular
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
student's
time Change preposition
of student's
whereas
they can spend their time for
Change preposition
apply
studing thier
lessons Correct your spelling
studying their
instead
of waste
their Wrong verb form
wasting
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
in
extra Change preposition
on
activities
. the
other disadvantageous could be Capitalize word
The
financial
strain, Add an article
a financial
for example
, some activities
might require membership fees, equipment purchases, or travel expenses that not all students
can afford.
To conclude
, while
extra-curricular
are advantageous in terms of Correct your spelling
extracurricular
development
of soft skills and Correct article usage
the development
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
physical
and mental health, they Change preposition
of physical
make
to consumption times and financial problems Verb problem
lead
thus
the
universities should encourage Correct article usage
apply
students
to contribute these
Change preposition
to these
activities
.Submitted by sbehravan141 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
In the introduction, use a consistent tone. Remember to standardize capitalization (e.g., 'There are numerous students').
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar in paragraphs to enhance clarity. Check for subject-verb agreement and verb forms.
task achievement
Though main points are present, aim to deepen and connect them with clearer examples. This will strengthen relevance and support.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion which effectively organize the argument.
task achievement
The essay includes specific points such as the development of soft skills and financial considerations, balancing both sides of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!