IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your colleagues is leaving for a new job, and your manager has asked you to arrange a farewell party for him/her. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, * suggest a suitable date and time for the party * recommend a place * discuss the food and entertainment options that should be available

#colleagues #job #manager #farewell #party #date #time #place #food #entertainment #options
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Respected Sir, I am writing
this
 letter with context to organising a farewell party
of
Change preposition
for
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 our colleague Tarun, who is leaving our firm to join some other company. I have a few suggestions that I would like to discuss with you.
Firstly
, about the date, I propose 13th May because it happens to be the weekend and it would give an opportunity to all the staff members to join the occasion.
Secondly
, after office hours would be ideal for the party as it would
enables
Wrong verb form
enable
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 us to enjoy
without
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves without
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 thinking about the office work. Adding more to it, there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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very famous place named The Flame Bois
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
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 serve our purpose for venue, as they have a multinational menu that includes all sorts of dishes starting from Indian to continental food.
Moreover
, they have a party hall that can easily
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 35 guests and that too is equipped with
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 nice sound system, which is operated by a professional DJ and
mic
Correct article usage
a mic
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 system is
also
 available
along with
 it. I hope you will like the ideas I have given and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points briefly or invites further discussion. This could add a bit more cohesiveness to your letter.
task achievement
While the letter is very clear and the tone is appropriate, make sure to proofread for minor errors. For instance, 'The Flame Bois' could be double-checked for spelling, and 'enables' should be 'enable' in the context you've written.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with a logical flow of ideas, making it very easy to follow.
task achievement
You have covered all points mentioned in the task prompt in a detailed manner, which showcases good task achievement.
task achievement
The tone and formality of the letter are highly appropriate for the context, which is essential for a professional setting.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • farewell party
  • suitable date and time
  • Friday evening
  • local restaurant
  • function hall
  • private dining area
  • sufficient privacy and space
  • personalize the decor
  • variety of dishes
  • dietary preferences
  • vegetarian
  • vegan
  • gluten-free
  • speech to honor
  • light music
  • live band
  • interactive games
  • engaged and enjoys
  • memorable and enjoyable
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