You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There are some nations where younger generations prefer to train
while
working after they graduate from high school instead
of continuing their studies further
to a higher institution level. However
, there are some effects that need to be considered which will be discussed further
in this
essay.
The benefit of this
issue is they don't have to spend years on a long course offered in
universities. Change preposition
by
For instance
, they don't have to spend months of
doing assignments or hours Change preposition
apply
of
listening Change preposition
apply
lectures
. Change preposition
to lectures
Instead
, they will save more time by learning practical theories required for one specific work.
Apart from that, a
work-based training Correct article usage
apply
enable
the student to go straight to an environment of Change the verb form
enables
job
as a quick adaptation in today's Add an article
the job
a job
job
world. For example
, young people who was
trained for one specific Change the verb form
were
job
is
found to be more comfortable doing their Correct subject-verb agreement
are
job
than graduates with a degree certificate. Therefore
, this
help
the trainers to be more Change the verb form
helps
focus
on their field of Replace the word
focused
job
to perform better as an employee.
On the other hand
, the disadvantage of this
is that the majority of young employees will have a hard time getting places for the training because nowadays, most of the company require an excellent academic qualification as part of a resume. As an example, graduates with a degree certificates
are more likely to have Correct the article-noun agreement
a degree certificate
degree certificates
better
chance than young people who only have a high-school certificate. Add an article
a better
Therefore
, they will get lesser
chance to compete in today's world of employment.
In conclusion, it seems that more benefits outweigh the drawbacks of Add an article
a lesser
the lesser
this
issue. It is true that getting enough education while
at universities can guarantee more on securing a job
position, however
, attending a job
-based training saves a lot of time while
getting enough exposure to the environment of working.Submitted by alisyashazzy on
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly so that the essay provides a full response to the task. The essay could expand more on the disadvantages to create a balanced analysis.
task achievement
Work on providing clear and comprehensive ideas, and try to elaborate on them with more depth to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, but make sure each point is well-supported with relevant examples and details for higher coherence. You could improve the cohesion by using more linking words and phrases that connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This provides a logical framework for your thoughts.
task achievement
The essay provides some relevant examples, which are beneficial in supporting the main points made.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?