IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nations. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Other
people
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 think that global
sport
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sports
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events
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 are ideal
avenue
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avenues
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 to showcase globally the capabilities of the hosting nations.
While
Linking Words
 other
people
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 oppose the idea of hosting, as it is mainly expensive. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why I partially agree
on
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with
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 the latter statement of waste of funds on the
host
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 country. On one hand, the
host
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 country will benefit from the opportunity to boost the
economy
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. From the rise
on
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in
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number
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a number
the number
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 of tourists, athletes and
spectaturs
Correct your spelling
spectators
 there will be
circulation
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the circulation
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 of money and goods.
Additionally
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, the nation's wonders will be featured
such
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 as the beaches, islands, and other tourist spots. Aside from the natural wonders, there will
also
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 be
promotion
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the promotion
a promotion
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 of
people
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, culture and tradition.
As a result
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, the country will attract more
tourist
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tourists
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 and potential investors. But,
this
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 can be a gateway to environmental problems. Not every tourist
have
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has
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 the social responsibility of taking care of the facilities and natural fauna of the place.
On the other hand
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, the place
who
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that
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 will
host
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
events
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such
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 as
Correct article usage
the olympics
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olympics
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Olympics
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 will invest vastly
on
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in
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 infrastructure.
Additionally
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, aside from construction expenses, there will be overhead
cost
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costs
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 on
labor
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labour
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. The investment will only be justifiable if the profit can supplement the capital loss spent on the event. Sadly, based on the previous hosting nations
such
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 as Brazil the facilities were wasted and the maintenance cost is another issue. For
a
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a third world country
third world countries
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third world
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third-world
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countries
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countries,
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 it will be hard
as
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apply
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to balance the
economy
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 and allocate
budget
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a budget
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 for building domes.
As a result
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, there were fewer countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 would volunteer to
host
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 Olympic
events
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.
Additionally
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, places
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 participate
on
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in
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 hosting sports
events
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faces
Correct subject-verb agreement
face
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 problems of pollution
such
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 as waste disposal. The local government's budget is affected as they need to
dispose
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dispose of
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 the accumulated garbage collected from
large
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a large
the large
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 number of
people
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. In conclusion,
although
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 hosting huge sports
events
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 can stimulate the
economy
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 the cost it takes to establish facilities is too expensive and unjustifiable.
On
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In
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short
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the short
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 term, there will be
fluctuation
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a fluctuation
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on
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
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the economy
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, but
on
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in
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 the long run, there will be
financial
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a financial
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 loss.

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task achievement
Ensure that all examples provided directly support your argument for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a concluding sentence for each paragraph to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Clarify some of the points to avoid ambiguity, particularly around the impact of hosting events.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, setting up the essay structure well.
task achievement
Good balance in discussing both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of paragraphs to organize different points and ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • showcase
  • global platform
  • hospitality
  • infrastructure advancements
  • long-lasting benefits
  • global image
  • foster national pride
  • tourism boost
  • business investments
  • economic growth
  • revenue boost
  • substantial expenditure
  • unjustifiable costs
  • essential public services
  • underutilization
  • wasted investment
  • overestimated benefits
  • short-lived visibility
  • environmental damage
  • human rights concerns
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