IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie chart illustrates several destinations of anthropology alumni from one university after they finished their bachelor degree and the table gives information on the payment of the anthropology graduates after working for 5 years.

The pie chart illustrates several destinations of anthropology alumni from one university after they finished their bachelor degree and the table gives information on the payment of the anthropology graduates after working for 5 years.
#destinations #anthropology #alumni #university #bachelor #information #payment #graduates #years
This
 piece of writing contains a pie chart and a table. The pie chart tells us about the destination of graduates after completing their bachelor's degree in a university in
antrhropology
Correct your spelling
anthropology
 and it
also
 shows the percentage of the students.
Whereas
 the table depicts the types of employment, occupied by the graduates after 5 years of work and the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 of their pay as well. Commencing
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
 pie chart,
which clears
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 that near to 52% of students prefer full-time work, 15% part-time and only 12% of individuals are unemployed
according to
 the report.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 5%
graduates
Change preposition
of graduates
show examples
 favour part-time work
along with
 their studies and up to 8% of individuals go for full-time postgrad studies,
whereas
 8%
resources
Change preposition
of resources
show examples
 are unknown. Moving to the table, that depicts the figure of salaries and types of employment of the
Antrhropology
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
 students. As far as
Freelanceing
Correct your spelling
Freelancing
 is concerned, 40% of freelancers are paid $100,000 and 5% below $50,000.
Additionally
, in the government sector 5%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 are offered salary below $50,000 and 50% are
allorted
Correct your spelling
allotted
allocated
 up to $100.000 yearly.
However
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
companies
Add a comma
companies,
show examples
 10% of workers are paid near to $49,999 and 30%
employees
Change preposition
of employees
show examples
above
Add a missing verb
are above
show examples
 $99,999 as per
report
Add an article
the report
a report
show examples
.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • bachelor's degree
  • anthropology alumni
  • employment sectors
  • salary ranges
  • academic roles
  • field research
  • public sector
  • non-profit organizations
  • private sector jobs
  • continuing education
  • job market trends
  • financial prospects
  • career progression
  • economic context
  • geographic location
  • cost of living
  • salary increases
  • experience
  • earning potential
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!