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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#films #five #countries #three #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the number of
flims
Correct your spelling
films
 created by five
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 in three different years. The horizontal axis
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the names of the countries
while
Linking Words
 the vertical axis
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
number
Add an article
the number
a number
show examples
 of
films
Use synonyms
ز A
showd
Correct your spelling
shows
 that it had the same amount of
films
Use synonyms
 created in 2007 and 2008,
then
Linking Words
 it had a small decline in production to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 80 in 2009. B remained steady from 2007 to 2008 with 50
films
Use synonyms
, after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it had a significant increase to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak in 2009 with almost 70
films
Use synonyms
. In regard to other countries C , D and E, there were not any huge
fluctuation
Fix the agreement mistake
fluctuations
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the productions
show examples
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
 of
films
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, A
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be the highest country that produced
films
Use synonyms
 in all three periods of time with more than 80
films
Use synonyms
 in all the years
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned,
while
Linking Words
 E country seemed to be the lowest among all countries with approximately 10
films
Use synonyms
 every year.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words films with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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