️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages
In modern times,
people
tend to watch visual programs Use synonyms
individualistically
rather than with other Replace the word
individually
people
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I believe the advantages Linking Words
outweighs
the disadvantages of watching TV programs alone.
Change the verb form
outweigh
Firstly
, one of the Linking Words
benefit
of watching films alone is to fully comprehend the message of the show. Change to a plural noun
benefits
Secondly
, it will help the person concentrate as there will be less distractions from the other Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
As a result
, the person will be entertained by a movie rather be interrupted from outside stimulus. Linking Words
Therefore
the goal of watching Linking Words
movie
for relaxation is achieved.
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
Additionally
, another advantage of watching films or Linking Words
theater
plays alone can be Change the spelling
theatre
a
therapy Correct article usage
apply
to
a person. Change preposition
for
Thus
, by freely expressing the emotions Linking Words
such
as sadness, happiness and excitement which is not Linking Words
minding
the reactions from other Wrong verb form
mind
people
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
instead
of wanting to cry from a sad scene, some Linking Words
persons
try to hold back their emotions as they do not want to be judged by the crowd.
On one hand, one of the drawbacks of watching films alone is the threat Replace the word
people
of
safety and well-being. Change preposition
to
For example
, Linking Words
emergency
situations where you need someone's help Change preposition
in emergency
such
as Linking Words
heart
attack. Correct article usage
a heart
This
can be fatal and it can Linking Words
also
be induced by extreme Linking Words
form
of emotion by absorbing the emotion of the movie.
In conclusion, watching TV series alone has its own advantages and disadvantages. The advantages Fix the agreement mistake
forms
outweighs
the disadvantages as it is more beneficial to the society.Change the verb form
outweigh
Submitted by emmagallares on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your arguments are fully developed. For instance, further elaboration on why individual viewing can be therapeutic would strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples that clearly relate to your main points, as this will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea without deviation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. This provides a nice structure for your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are generally clear, providing a good framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The thesis statement presents your viewpoint effectively, setting the stage for your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.