IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #houses #style #areas #freedom
In the contemporary era of globalization, the architecture field witnessed a huge transformation. A wide range of individuals believes that new constructions should follow the design of old houses in rural areas. Others,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
, are convinced that they should feel free on the way that they are going to build their private houses. In
this
 context, both arguments will be illustrated. On the one hand, old houses will preserve our culture and maintain our identity. It will remind people of their history.
Moreover
, it will increase the bond between individuals and the
area
 where they live. It will play a vital role in making the next generation aware of their history and ancestors. Ultimately, it will keep the
area
 well organised with any unfavourable shape.
According to
 National Geographic Magazine, Salalah City in Oman was rewarded as the most stunning city in the world
due to
 its exquisite buildings. In sharp contrast to
this
, it will make folks tied because they will be unable to arrange their furniture the way they want.
In addition
, The
overall
 shape of the
area
 will be tedious and the people will be confused.
Finally
, old designs do not support the new technology,
thus
 anyone will feel that he still lives in
primitive
Correct article usage
a primitive
show examples
area
.
Therefore
, seventy per cent of the designers prefer to follow the new fashion. They are aware of its benefits. In conclusion, there will be a debate on
this
 context.
However
, everyone should have the ability to build what they admire.
Nonetheless
, we should keep and protect our basis.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task achievement
Try to present a more detailed and balanced discussion of both views. While you have presented both sides, elaborating more on the arguments with specific examples will strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the ideas are logically sequenced and use clear transitions for better readability. This will aid in improving the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples by providing more concrete and varied details. This will help in illustrating your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which align with the main topic.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant ideas that address the task at hand, showcasing an understanding of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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