IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#reason #tourists #city #two #years #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts present the main factors for visiting Orange City in two different years and show each reason with a percentage .
Overall
Linking Words
 , it was important that the number of tourists has increased almost twice within 10 years; the most interesting part was that the visitors had a high diamond in restaurants in 2016 and that was the main factor compared to others.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts, at the start, tourists 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2006 and reached 1.9
million
Use synonyms
 by 2016 which shows that Orange Ciry worked so much hard to attract more visitors;
Moreover
Linking Words
, annual events and museums were the main reason to visit the city in 2006 ;
thereafter
Linking Words
, restaurants and annual events have the main factors to visit the city in 2016
while
Linking Words
 theatres and others got fewer attractions. The chart demonstrates that in the beginning , the number of tourists reached about 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2006 ;
thereafter
Linking Words
, it grew up to 1.9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2016 ;
moreover
Linking Words
,
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 factor got much less in 2016
while
Linking Words
 restaurants were the main one in 2016.
Submitted by no123fm on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, thereafter, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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