Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #facebook #zalo #impact #individuals #society

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Some people believe that social networking

sites

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such

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as Facebook or

Instagram

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harm

individuals

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and

society

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. I strongly believe that it has a negative influence on people and

society

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. Scrolling on networking

sites

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over and over again can promote addictive conduct. Research explains that

sites

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such

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as Facebook and

Instagram

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are made to release serotonin.

Furthermore

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, every time we click a like on these

sites

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this

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happiness hormone is released creating a sense of joy.

Hence

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individuals

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can become addicted to

this

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feeling and make them non stop scrolling on these social media platforms.

For example

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, a friend of mine

while

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we are together cannot avoid taking a look at his social media. I tried once to take his mobile phone out of his sight and the outcome was surprising. My friend started being aggressive with me verbally, which was the crucial moment when I showed him how addicted he was to

Instagram

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Although

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people can be addicted to these social networking

sites

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, there is another reason that

this

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can deeply affect

society

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negatively. Lives on these platforms show as perfect, always emphasizing the fun part of life.

This

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sets a standard of how life should be for

society

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, raising the number of

individuals

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who have

depression

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In addition

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, the latest research shows that users of Facebook and

Instagram

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have more probability of having

depression

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because they compare the digital lives of others to ownself.

For instance

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, a family member was scrolling for hours on social media and she seemed upset with the publications of others.

Hence

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, over two months later she had to stop looking at social networking

sites

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, which caused her a deep

depression

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that needed therapy.

To conclude

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, I deeply agree that social networking

sites

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can affect negatively

individuals

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and

society

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causing addiction and

depression

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Submitted by jessica.pastor.87 on Tue Oct 08 2024

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task achievement

Try to be more nuanced in your argumentation by acknowledging some of the positive effects of social networking sites. This will demonstrate a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and maintains this throughout. While your paragraphs are generally well structured, they can benefit from more topic sentences that clearly introduce your main point upfront.

task achievement

The examples provided are very effective in illustrating your points and make your argument more relatable.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each main point is clearly addressed in a separate paragraph.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

The working week should be shorted and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.