Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that social networking
sites
such
as Facebook or
Instagram
harm
individuals
and
society
. I strongly believe that it has a negative influence on people and
society
. Scrolling on networking
sites
over and over again can promote addictive conduct. Research explains that
sites
such
as Facebook and
Instagram
are made to release serotonin.
Furthermore
, every time we click a like on these
sites
,
this
happiness hormone is released creating a sense of joy.
Hence
,
individuals
can become addicted to
this
feeling and make them non stop scrolling on these social media platforms.
For example
, a friend of mine
while
we are together cannot avoid taking a look at his social media. I tried once to take his mobile phone out of his sight and the outcome was surprising. My friend started being aggressive with me verbally, which was the crucial moment when I showed him how addicted he was to
Instagram
.
Although
people can be addicted to these social networking
sites
, there is another reason that
this
can deeply affect
society
negatively. Lives on these platforms show as perfect, always emphasizing the fun part of life.
This
sets a standard of how life should be for
society
, raising the number of
individuals
who have
depression
.
In addition
, the latest research shows that users of Facebook and
Instagram
have more probability of having
depression
because they compare the digital lives of others to ownself.
For instance
, a family member was scrolling for hours on social media and she seemed upset with the publications of others.
Hence
, over two months later she had to stop looking at social networking
sites
, which caused her a deep
depression
that needed therapy.
To conclude
, I deeply agree that social networking
sites
can affect negatively
individuals
and
society
causing addiction and
depression
.
Submitted by jessica.pastor.87 on

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task achievement
Try to be more nuanced in your argumentation by acknowledging some of the positive effects of social networking sites. This will demonstrate a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and maintains this throughout. While your paragraphs are generally well structured, they can benefit from more topic sentences that clearly introduce your main point upfront.
task achievement
The examples provided are very effective in illustrating your points and make your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each main point is clearly addressed in a separate paragraph.
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