Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
A
Correct article usage
The
big
number of Correct word choice
large
animals
Use synonyms
are
decreasing day by day, and some Correct subject-verb agreement
is
of
Change preposition
apply
species
may be endangered by the same problem because developing sphere of Use synonyms
black
market and Add an article
the black
climate
Use synonyms
change
. Use synonyms
As a result
, biodiversity can get worse, as the extinction of Linking Words
animals
We all know how Use synonyms
greenhouse
effect can affect our ecology. So, Correct article usage
the greenhouse
climate
Use synonyms
change
can lead us to Use synonyms
extinction
of animal Add an article
the extinction
species
and even Use synonyms
human
population. Simply, even Correct article usage
the human
little
Correct article usage
a little
change
can lead to Use synonyms
death
of mammals because our nature is a complex chain. Add an article
the death
For example
, if one type of plant Linking Words
disappear
, Change the verb form
disappears
then
there Linking Words
are
will be not enough food for herbivores. So, carnivores will not get proper feeding and Unnecessary verb
apply
this
causes Linking Words
destruction
of Correct article usage
the destruction
ecosystem
. Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
Also
, Linking Words
nowawadays
the number of poachers grew and they are Correct your spelling
nowadays
also
a big issue. Because they simply hunt Linking Words
species
that are on the verge of Use synonyms
extincion
. As a Correct your spelling
extinction
climate
Use synonyms
change
, Use synonyms
this
is a huge issue.
There are some effective solutions to deal with animal extinction caused by Linking Words
Linking Words
this
factors. Basically, Correct determiner usage
these
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
can build and put in use sanctuaries. So, all of the endangered Correct your spelling
government
governments
species
can live in a safe place with all appropriate conditions included. Use synonyms
This
will help both problems because poachers will not have any access to Linking Words
animals
. Use synonyms
Furthemore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
green house
effect will not have any impact on them because they will have all conditions to live a whole Correct your spelling
greenhouse
live
.
In conclusion, animal Replace the word
life
extincting
Correct your spelling
extinction
extinct
Linking Words
due
to some factors Add a missing verb
is due
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
climate
Use synonyms
change
and black marketing Use synonyms
which
can be tackled by zoos and other places built Correct pronoun usage
apply
specially
for Replace the word
especially
animals
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Develop your ideas further. While you've made some good points about the reasons for animal extinction and possible solutions, expanding on these ideas will strengthen your essay. For instance, offer more examples and explain the consequences more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Work on the cohesiveness of your essay. At times, the sentences and paragraphs could be better linked with transition words to help guide the reader through your points smoothly.
task achievement
Clarify and refine your examples. While you've provided examples, like the role of climate change, sometimes they lack depth and specificity. Make sure each example clearly supports your point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the multifaceted issue of animal extinction, touching upon both human activities and natural phenomena.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.