IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In order to alive traffic problems, government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportiong. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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In the contemporary era of globalization, the
transportation
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 system has undergone a major transformation. A wide range of individuals believe that to mitigate traffic issues the government should enforce taxes on the owners of private
cars
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.
Consequently
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,
this
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 money can be exploited to enhance the
transportation
Use synonyms
 system. In
this
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 essay, both pros and cons will be demonstrated. On the one hand, the first and foremost benefit will be the decreasing number of
cars
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 on the streets.
This
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 will reflect in the environment. The gasses emitted by
cars
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 will decrease,
thus
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, the pollution will decrease too.
Moreover
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, the money that will be obtained can be utilized in ameliorating the infrastructure, widening the roads, and repairing it.
For instance
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, In Canada, the roads were fixed by the money that was collected from taxpayers of the private vehicles. In sharp contrast to
this
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, one of the prime drawbacks
that is
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 public
transportation
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 will be congested with people.
This
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 can make them feel uncomfortable
while
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 using it.
Moreover
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, it can be a source of infection because most of the folks are not aware of their hygiene.
According to
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 a study conducted by Tokyo University, during the pandemic of coronavirus, an array of patients was infected
due to
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 public
transportation
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. In conclusion, there will be a heated debate on
this
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 argument. The government should play a vital role by tackling the cons. There should be programs to aware people aware of the hazards of
cars
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 and their gasses.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on each advantage and disadvantage to provide a balanced view. This will enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use more varied transitional words or phrases to ensure smooth connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar phrases, especially in the introduction and conclusion, to maintain engagement and focus.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the topic effectively.
supported main points
The main points are supported by relevant examples, though they could be expanded upon for stronger justification.
complete response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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