In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?
High salary is a widely discussed topic. Some argue the government should be against
this
while
others emphasize the significance of it for county development I align with the first viewpoint.
Income Inequality is one of the biggest aspects of high salaries which is widely accepted by most people
. When someone receives high money for his job even if his job requires high dedication or dealing with dangerous situations has a strong ability to provide wealth gaps between others and as a result
, has a direct impact on social tensions. For instance
, when a doctor who spends a lot
of time in order
to achieve his current position sees that someone with no exotic talent or educational degree only based on his situation receives better pay, he may decide to stop his job to be a part of society Moreover
, it can easily encourage people
to participate in wrong and harmful activities in order
to show their satisfaction about this
topic which has a negative effect on that environment and at the same time it can create a lot
of chaotic and disorders if they could not be controlled.
From my perspective, Public Services is the first thing that is
completely affected by earning high money. When wealth accumulates in the hands of a few it can lead to underfunding of public services such
as education and health, let's talk about a new school with an authentic educator as an example, this
scroll is programmed based on the international methods that can generate that all of the students of it can get the best position if they only fallow our approach but the problem is that it cost a lot
and only people
who are earning a lot
of money can be a part of this
school and as result in such
examples that are occurring in my country a lot
can limit other people
the opportunity to get the best education.Furthermore
, some people
in order
to get a better position Incentives for Short-Term Gainswith without thinking about the result on their own ways. Mostly these people
decided to invest their wrath into something wrong or take the wrong risk something that led to failure in their own way.
Some people
argue that wealthy people
are playing a critical role in changing the economic growth of our country and achieving higher goals. I completely reject this
notion, it's true we can most of the time rely on these people
in difficult or challenging situations but simultaneously it can the creativity among all people
, especially the young generation. For example
, no matter what they do on top of that how much effort they spend on their goal they still receive a low level of many they prefer to go to the places that help them to achieve their own mindset.
In conclusion, the government is one of the most influential factors in order
to Legal equal rights for sealers, this
organ by using this
method not can can save his wealth but also
it can encourage people
to be a part of society by having equal opportunities for themSubmitted by homa.nazrmian56 on
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task response
Try to clarify your main argument and ensure that your essay addresses both views more explicitly. It seems like you're leaning towards one viewpoint without giving equal attention to the opposing side.
task response
Add more clear, concise examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing public services, specify how high salaries affect them in more concrete terms.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to your thesis and main argument. You have included supporting details, but the link between ideas can be strengthened.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving paragraph transitions. Some ideas seem to start abruptly or could be better connected to previous points.
coherence and cohesion
You have successfully addressed the introduction and conclusion, giving structure to your essay.
task achievement
Your essays includes interesting points about income inequality and its social impacts, which are engaging and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You bring up valid arguments about how wealth concentration affects public services, showing a broader understanding of societal implications.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.