Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It has been universally acknowledged that educating social
skills
to juveniles plays a critical role in the development of a community. Recently, it has been a controversial issue whether these interpersonal
skills
should be taught by
parents
or
schools
.
This
essay will discuss both views and
also
reveal my orientation towards
this
statement. The advocates of nurturing the young generation by
parents
believe that homes are the first place to educate children the fundamental social communication. To put it differently,
behaviour
is established and formed from very young ages.
Hence
, toddlers look up to their
parents
and imitate their
behaviour
and
then
they will reflect it at
schools
or
further
than that, the community.
For example
, if
parents
are shoplifters, spontaneously, their offspring will steal other
students
' snacks at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, and
schools
' education will have limited effect
to modify
Change preposition
on modifying
show examples
this
behaviour
.
Conversely
, opponents insist on the
schools
' significant role in the education of the young generation. It is believed that
schools
are the first social place where
students
join in and they will learn most social
skills
there.
Students
immerse in the collaboration and incorporation atmosphere
along with
their friends, and
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
they will learn practically and efficiently communal
skills
; because it has been psychologically proven that minors will learn from their same-age friends more effectively in comparison with teachers or other adolescents.
For example
, if a student stands up when the teacher enters to class,
this
action has a domino effect on other
students
. In conclusion, nurturing minors is significant for societies because their education will reflect on the countries' future.
Schools
and
parents
are the two important roles in
this
aspect and I believe that children’s
behaviour
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been equally influenced by both of them.
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coherence cohesion
Try to connect points more clearly to enhance logical flow further.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and links smoothly to the next one.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear introduction of the topic and effectively presents both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides the writer's opinion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate points helps in making the argument tangible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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