IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

#people #money #tax
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People nowadays do their job or run their business which will earn
income
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
income
Use synonyms
 will be object to
tax
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 which is ideally they want to retain all their
income
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. In my perspective, all individuals need to pay some fair portion of
tax
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. In recent
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
money
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 has
bigger
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a bigger
show examples
 factor in society.
Money
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 can help people to give education to their children or avoid starvation.
Furthermore
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,
money
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 is used by each individual not only for their present needs but
also
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their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 future needs. They need to allocate some portion of their
income
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 so they can ensure their future needs can be
fullfiled
Correct your spelling
fulfilled
.
As a result
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, some of them are reluctant to get
deduction
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a deduction
the deduction
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 of their
income
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due to
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tax
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.
Conversely
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,
tax
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 is used by authorities to not only provide public
goods
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 but
also
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 disincentivize
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 for negative externality activity. Providing public
goods
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 is mandatory and it can be accomplished by not only using profit from government enterprise but
also
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 from
tax
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 revenue. Public
goods
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such
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 as
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 education
or
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apply
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healt
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health
 care, or even infrastructure
needs
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need
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big
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a big
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 amount of
money
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.
Moreover
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,
tax
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 can be used to prevent bad activity.
For instance
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,
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tax
Correct article usage
a tax
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 on
cigarrate
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
cigarette
 or sugar can be implemented.
As a result
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,
public
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the public
show examples
 will reduce their consumption
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those 2 categories of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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. In conclusion, even though there are some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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 that they need to avoid
tax
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,
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
tax
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 revenue is beneficial for
government
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the government
show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 can use
this
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 source of
income
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 to ensure providing public
goods
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 and control negative externalities.
Submitted by muhammad.andhitya on

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task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples that effectively illustrate the main points. Including examples from real-world scenarios or well-known cases could enhance the explanation.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be restructured for clarity and conciseness. Review sentence structures to ensure clarity and avoid ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that relate directly to the main topic.
task achievement
The response presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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