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Band 5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

#people #money #tax
People nowadays do their job or run their business which will earn
income
.
However
,
this
income
 will be object to
tax
 which is ideally they want to retain all their
income
. In my perspective, all individuals need to pay some fair portion of
tax
. In recent
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
money
 has
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 factor in society.
Money
 can help people to give education to their children or avoid starvation.
Furthermore
,
money
 is used by each individual not only for their present needs but
also
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 future needs. They need to allocate some portion of their
income
 so they can ensure their future needs can be
fullfiled
Correct your spelling
fulfilled
.
As a result
, some of them are reluctant to get
deduction
Add an article
a deduction
the deduction
show examples
 of their
income
due to
tax
.
Conversely
,
tax
 is used by authorities to not only provide public
goods
 but
also
 disincentivize
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 for negative externality activity. Providing public
goods
 is mandatory and it can be accomplished by not only using profit from government enterprise but
also
 from
tax
 revenue. Public
goods
such
 as
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 education
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
healt
Correct your spelling
health
 care, or even infrastructure
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 amount of
money
.
Moreover
,
tax
 can be used to prevent bad activity.
For instance
,
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 on
cigarrate
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
cigarette
 or sugar can be implemented.
As a result
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 will reduce their consumption
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those 2 categories of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. In conclusion, even though there are some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that they need to avoid
tax
,
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
tax
 revenue is beneficial for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can use
this
 source of
income
 to ensure providing public
goods
 and control negative externalities.
Submitted by muhammad.andhitya on

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task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples that effectively illustrate the main points. Including examples from real-world scenarios or well-known cases could enhance the explanation.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be restructured for clarity and conciseness. Review sentence structures to ensure clarity and avoid ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that relate directly to the main topic.
task achievement
The response presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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