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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first given bar chart provides information about the number of marriages and divorces in the USA from 1970 to 2000,
while
Linking Words
 the second presented bar chart
elucidate
Change the verb form
elucidates
show examples
 the percentages of
Add an article
the martial
show examples
martial
Correct your spelling
marital
show examples
 status of grown-op Americans in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
married
people
Use synonyms
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
divorced individuals showed a steady trend throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. The married
people
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
 the divorced individuals
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the lowest over the
period
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, in both years 1970 and 2000, the
percentagees
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of married
was decrease
Change the verb form
was decreased
was decreasing
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 divorced was rose. Looking in more detail, in 1970,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage accounted for 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and it
steady
Add a missing verb
was steady
show examples
 until 1980 before declining significantly to 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, the divorced made up 1 million before increasing to around 1,3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1980;
however
Linking Words
, it showed a considerable decline to 1 million in 2000. In 1970, the married
people
Use synonyms
 predominated the marital status, at 70%,
while
Linking Words
 it fell noticeably to 60% in 2000.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a slight decline
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the widowed from about 8% in 1970 to around 6% in 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the divorced experienced a considerable growth from nearly 2% in 1970 to almost 10% in 2000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
never married
Add a hyphen
never-married
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 rose from nearly 15% in1970 to 20% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • marriage rate
  • divorce rate
  • marital status
  • adult Americans
  • trends
  • fluctuations
  • peak
  • nadir
  • comparisons
  • notable
  • patterns
  • factors
  • social factors
  • distribution
  • significant differences
  • anomalies
  • speculate
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