The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket(S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket(S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
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The map presents the land use and the population of Garlsdon
town
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
the two scheduled areas for the new supermarket. In general, Garlsdon
town
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is mainly used for industrial land
,
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apply
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and a few areas
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are applied for housing. The
town
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is comprised of the most factories and some residences. The central part is downtown and the new supermart may be planned to be established here.
Moreover
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, the central area is surrounded by a wide range of suburbs for industrial land.
Besides
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, on the north and south side of the suburbs, there are residential areas.
Next,
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the most exterior district is the countryside, and it is projected that the new supermarket could be constructed in the northwest of the countryside.
According to
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the map, there is a railway stretching from the northwest, passing through the countryside, the suburbs, the
town
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centre, and to the southeast.
Additionally
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, there are three main roads which connect to other villages. One road which leads to Hindon
town
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(population 10000) is 12km long.
Then
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, another road in the southwest which elongates to Bransdon
town
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(population 15000) is 16km long.
Finally
Linking Words
, the motorway in the southeast which extends to the Cransdon district is 25 km long.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
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