Task 2. Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

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In our modern world, there are still many old
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
protected by legal regulations
due to
their historical and traditional
values
. Opinions are divided on whether old
buildings
should be preserved or demolished to make room for new accommodations and commercial developments. I believe that these facilities should be preserved. In some areas where more housing is needed, many old structures should not be
keeped
Correct your spelling
kept
show examples
as they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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either lack interest or are dangerous. Not all old
buildings
have
specifically
Change the word
specific
show examples
architectural or historical
values
so they are neither valuable nor unique
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
way.
Moreover
,
such
buildings
are dangerous, damp and
therefore
unsuitable for modern cities and should be replaced by new
accomdations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
or multi-purpose facilities. These new developments will be more beneficial than the old ones they replaced. An additional benefit of building new
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
is that in some cities, housing in the central areas is exorbitantly expensive, so new
accomdations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
will reduce the living costs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
ordinary people.
However
, maybe some old
buildings
are valueless,
most
Correct word choice
but most
show examples
of them are worth preserving for their
historic
Correct word choice
historical
show examples
and architectural interest. A good example of
this
in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
is the Long Bien bridge at Hanoi, despite being built over a century ago, it is still one of the most important
bridge
Change to a plural noun
bridges
show examples
in Hanoi not only by its icon but
also
Change preposition
by the
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the
Change the word
its
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commercial
values
. Another important building is Ho Chi Minh’s House in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of Hanoi.
This
,
although
it may not be vital for its architecture, is of great value as a historic artefact for the local people.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
structures should be preserved, regardless of the financial value of the land
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
lie on. In conclusion, old
buildings
play a crucial role in sustaining the cultural and historical
values
of a nation, so they should be preserved.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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developing modern
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
can provide financial
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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, we have to keep the balance between preserving historical
buildings
and
accomdating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
urban growth.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
Improve the clarity and consistency of ideas, particularly in presenting and connecting examples. Although you provided specific examples, they could be more clearly illustrated and directly linked to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by connecting ideas smoothly. Some transitions between points could be clearer to aid the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, bookending the argument effectively. This structure helps in maintaining focus and addressing the question posed.
task achievement
You demonstrated a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument regarding old and new buildings, which adds depth to the essay.
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