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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and the chart below show the numer of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and the chart below show the numer of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #numer #students #kinds #courses #university #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who
choosing
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 a
vary
Replace the word
variety
show examples
 of courses in a university in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there were many courses that
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as social sciences, engineering, health, humanities, science and math, and agriculture. The most of female and male
students
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 was social sciences
course
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 was the lowest interest of
students
Use synonyms
. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, Social sciences was the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest
course
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 4000 female
students
Use synonyms
 and under 3000 male
students
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, followed by engineering
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 many male
students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 engineering around over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
students
Use synonyms
, and for women only 1000. same with science and math
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
. male more dominated around
overthan
Correct your spelling
over
 1000
students
Use synonyms
 and for women below 1000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, health and humanities courses
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 dominated by women almost 2000
students
Use synonyms
, and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 around 1000 for humanities and below 1000 for health
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 was the lowest
course
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 and the number of male and female
students
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 under
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1000.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, course with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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