Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent decades, a rising number of people with
health
problems refuse to seek help from a doctor and instead
, prefer to use substitude
treatments, Correct your spelling
substitute
such
as herbal teas, for curing their health
condition
. This
trend arises
an important question: is Correct your spelling
raises
this
a negative or positive development? From my viewpoint, it is completely negative, having some potential
dire consequences.
Obviously, a wide range of Change the adjective
potentially
health
problems require
Change the verb form
requires
professional
diagnosis, as they might be serious problems, Add an article
a professional
putting
one's life in danger. Some people Wrong verb form
put
mistaken
the Wrong verb form
mistake
symptomes
of a Correct your spelling
symptoms
dangeous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
health
condition
with
a simple illness, so they avoid seeing a doctor. If these Change preposition
for
patient
hesitate to get professional help, it might be too late for them. Fix the agreement mistake
patients
For example
, an individual with cancer should start effective treatments, such
as chemotherapy, as soon as possible to prevent expansion
of the cancer cells. Trying alternative medication only wastes Add an article
the expansion
the
valuable time. We should remember that Correct article usage
apply
health
experts trained and studied for so many years to be able to diagnose and help us with our diseases.
In some other cases, patients may hurt other parts of their body by self-treatment. For example
, consumption of green tea may reduce the high blood-pressure
, but it Correct your spelling
blood pressure
also
stimulates fatty liver. Moreover
, alternative remedies also
can fail to cure some serious health
problem
, and worse, worsen the Fix the agreement mistake
problems
health
condition
. It is important to consider alternative remedies as a way for
preventing diseases, not curing them.
In conclusion, people should avoid self-treatment as it can come with severe consequences, Change preposition
of
such
as the loss of time which is needed to adopt better treatment plans, hurting another part of their body without intention or worsening the illness. Experts are there to provide us with useful treatments, so it is neccessary
to visit them when having a Correct your spelling
necessary
health
condition
.Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
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language
Work on minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'substitude' instead of 'substitute', 'symptomes' instead of 'symptoms', 'dangeous' instead of 'dangerous', and 'neccessary' instead of 'necessary'. Ensuring perfect accuracy in spelling and grammar can enhance the overall quality of the essay.
vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. This can make the essay more engaging and show a higher level of language proficiency.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion, which effectively summarizes the main points. This demonstrates good organizational skills and helps the reader understand your perspective.
clarity
You clearly communicate your viewpoint that relying on alternative medicine is a negative development, and you provide logical reasoning to support this viewpoint. This clarity is an excellent aspect of your essay.
examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the cancer treatment case, helps in illustrating your points and adds depth to your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite