Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #time #education #years

The debate over

young

Correct word choice

whether young

show examples

people

should have access to

education

until at least 18 years old is a continuous topic.

While some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

people

argue that

students

have the full right to decide whether to go to school or not. In

this

essay, I strongly agree that

education

is crucial until 18 years old for a several reason. On the one hand, receiving a great

education

until 18 years old will provide basic knowledge and essential skills for young

people

. In school, teachers teach various types of knowledge that will encourage

students

to have critical thinking, which is an important factor for self-development.

Furthermore

education

directing

Wrong verb form

directs

show examples

students

to have good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in the social environment.

For example

, schools provide

counseling

Change the spelling

counselling

show examples

sessions for

students

to recognize themself and their talent, which allows

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student to choose their next educational

background

and job based on their ability.

On the other hand

, having a higher

education

improving

Wrong verb form

improves

show examples

young

people

's opportunity to achieve better jobs. A great company searching for a talented employee with an impressive educational

background

For instance

, in a real job-seeker atmosphere, In Indonesia, there are strict requirements about the educational

background

to get a job,

although

the candidate has wonderful job experiences, the educational

background

will become the main assessment.

To sum up

while

some

people

believe that young

people

have the freedom to choose their life path, I strongly agree that at least until age 18 they should have the full time to receive an

education

, which is a great foundation to determine their future.

Submitted by yannn on Wed Oct 09 2024

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task achievement

Expand on examples to better illustrate the points being made. For instance, provide more detailed examples of how counseling improves student outcomes or how educational background affects job success.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence variety to avoid repetitive phrasing. For example, some sentences have a similar structure and could be varied for better flow.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction, outlining the main stance regarding the importance of education until 18 years old.

coherence cohesion

The essay's structure is logical, with distinct paragraphs supporting your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You arranged to visit a friend in Australia, but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain the important event apologise for the situation suggest a new arrangement Write at least 150 words.