Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

It is firmly suggested by humans that for spending leisure time, places like
parks
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and
sports
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facilities are more beneficial than shopping malls, and the development of locations offering recreational
activities
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should be promoted. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the approach of setting up more
sports
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clubs and public
parks
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as it improves
physical
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the physical
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health of individuals and helps in forming interpersonal relationships between residents.
Firstly
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, the establishment of playgrounds and
sports
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curriculums offers multifaceted benefits to children, young
people
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and aged populations. Nowadays,
parks
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are well developed with a plethora of facilities
such
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as swings, walkways, and grounds for different
sports
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. The availability of
such
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amenities encourages
people
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to engage in physical
activities
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like running, playing
sports
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, etc. which helps in improving physical health
,
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and reduces the chances of problems like obesity, higher cholesterol and heart issues. In
this
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materialistic world,
people
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spend most of their time on work, technology and indoor
activities
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which hinders their ability to do physical workouts.
Thus
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, the development of public
parks
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in all areas will benefit the population of the nation as they would have access to a place where they can explore nature and do some physical
activities
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.
Additionally
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, the construction of
parks
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and an athletic arena improves interpersonal relationships between individuals in the local area. Nowadays,
people
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usually prefer to make friends on online platforms because they do not have enough time and places where they can interact with other
people
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physically. The public places serve these purposes. To illustrate, in
parks
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and
sports
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areas children and
people
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from other age groups get the opportunity to meet with
people
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, play together, and engage with each other.
This
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helps in improving social skills and
also
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provides the chance to make new friends and relationships. In conclusion, though markets offer a variety of facilities that are necessary to meet the basic needs of life,
however
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, sometimes it leads to overspending of money to get unnecessary items.
Hence
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,
according to
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me, the creation of
sports
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clubs and natural
parks
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provides more benefits in terms of physical and social aspects of life.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes, the ideas are a bit mixed up.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences to make your ideas clearer. Some sentences are a bit complicated.
task achievement
Include more specific examples for each point to support your ideas better.
task achievement
You provided clear reasons for your opinion about parks and sports facilities.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, moving from one idea to another.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parks
  • sports
  • facilities
  • shopping
  • centers
  • free time
  • important
  • provide
  • community
  • health
  • lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • mental well-being
  • nature
  • relax
  • events
  • belonging
  • teamwork
  • interaction
  • consumer
  • lifestyle
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