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Band 5.5

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer

#products #machine #items #time #hand #buyer
These days,
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
 you turn on the TV or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you see the news about
manufacturing
Add an article
the manufacturing
show examples
 of products. The question arises in our mind, how these are made and which one is more preferred by
public
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the public
show examples
? Many
people
 think that some of them are manufactured through machines
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a short duration,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 assume that
hand made
Correct your spelling
handmade
show examples
items
 are
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. I completely agree with the ideas and will support my opinion in
this
 essay with examples. It is true that we are living in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 era of science and
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
. No doubt science has created an ease for humans on the earth through its advancement.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
 is the case with
manufacturing
Add an article
the manufacturing
show examples
 sector. Through
inventions
Correct article usage
the inventions
show examples
 of different machinery, it is easier for the brands to make their
items
 in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period of
time
. Let's take the example of different
items
 like slippers,
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 and carpets. Because of huge
machinery
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machinery,
show examples
 the companies make abundant of these
items
 at a
time
.
Besides
, the advancement of science has
also
 helped restaurants and other food stall owners. In
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
 it was hard for them to cook food for multiple
people
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
time
, but now
rebortics
Correct your spelling
reports
 have made
this
 process smoother.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 a reality that in many undeveloped areas,
people
 still choose to make
things
 by
hands
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hand
show examples
. Like in Kailash,
hand made
Correct your spelling
handmade
show examples
 outfits and foot mates are common not only in the
reagion
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region
 but in the entire country.
People
 across
the
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apply
show examples
Pakistan
loves
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love
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 their dresses,
jewelleries
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jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
 and mates.
However
, these
items
 are not only expensive, when they are taken to the big markets by investors, but sometimes the making process takes days or even months. As far as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 my opinion is concerned, I prefer both. Like, I use
things
 that are made by machines like slippers and
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
, but I
also
loves
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love
show examples
 to wear traditional jewellery and shawl that are made by
hands
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hand
show examples
 by local residents of Kailash and Naran.
Hence
, it is proven from the above arguments, that making
items
through
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with
show examples
 modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 less
time
whereas
hand made
Add a hyphen
hand-made
show examples
things
 are more
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
Therefore
, both
product
Change to a plural noun
products
show examples
 are worthful.
Things
 made through machinery are more accurate but
hand made
Correct your spelling
handmade
show examples
things
 have their own charm.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas with clear paragraphs. Separate different points or examples into different paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points more robustly. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by appreciating the advantages of both machine-made and handmade products, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively set the stage for your discussion by mentioning the common perception regarding manufacturing methods.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinions and the points made in the essay, reinforcing your overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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