Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

#obesity #pandemic #world’s #population #people #risk #health #reason #growth #society

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this

contemporary era, a plethora of folks on the earth, are suffering

with

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from

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alarming overweight

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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. Because of

overweight

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being overweight

show examples

many individuals are facing serious health-related problems. In

this

essay, I will discuss the main reasons of overweight and will provide

the

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apply

show examples

feasible

soultions

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solutions

solution

to control

this

concern in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

To begin

with, there are numerous reasons behind

this

dangerous overweight

issue

. First and foremost, nowadays the majority of

people

are

lathergic

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lethargic

and

donot

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do not

prefer to perform any physical exercise

such

as going

for

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apply

show examples

running or even

walk

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walking

show examples

Likewise

, many individuals do sitting jobs;

thus

donnot

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do not

get

opportunity

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the opportunity

an opportunity

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to move around; notwithstanding

this

condition, they have to give time to do some physical work and it helps them to keep fit.

Additionally

the

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show examples

vast number of

people

like to eat junk food;

therefore

this

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these

show examples

meals have those

ingridents

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ingredients

which increase the fat percentages in the body.

For instance

, a survey conducted by Time News of India indicates that the demand

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for

show examples

resturant

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restaurant

cuisine is increased in India by 12% in 2022

than

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apply

show examples

campared

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compared

to 2019. To prevent

this

alarming

issue

these paramount steps ought to take.

Firstly

People

should make their daily schedule and put exercise as

necessary

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a necessary

show examples

thing.

Similarly

people

should start going

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show examples

gym

Add an article

the gym

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at least 3

time

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times

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a week;

consquently

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consequently

it will help them to keep healthy and help them to decrease body fat and gain muscle which

remendy

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remedy

many health issues.

Moreover

, individuals should

gave

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give

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periority

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priority

home-made

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homemade

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food rather than ordering from outside. In a nutshell,

althoughthere

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although there

is no doubt

vast

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a vast

show examples

percentage of

people

are suffering

with

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from

show examples

obesity, if they start doing exercise and

eat

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eating

show examples

fresh

meal

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meals

show examples

this

issue

can

be control

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be controlled

show examples

at one point.

Submitted by taniamall786 on Wed Oct 09 2024

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clarity

Work on improving sentence structures to enhance clarity. At times, ideas could be expressed more fluently.

illustration

Include more supported examples to clearly illustrate your points.

connectivity

Try to use a greater variety of linking words to enhance coherence across your essay.

structure

You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the task directly.

relevance

The essay presents relevant ideas and identifies significant causes and solutions related to the issue of obesity.

support

You effectively use some examples to support your points, such as the survey from Time News of India.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sport which are played in teams, like footbool, while other people think that taking part in individuals sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that girls should take husband's name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition.What is your opinion?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Many people aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?