IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Today people can work and live anywhere they want, because of the improvements in communicant technology and transport. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #improvements #communicant #technology #transport #development
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Nowadys
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
,
pulibc
Correct your spelling
public
 can do their work and life anywhere
due to
 the communicant technology and transport. I think the advantages of development outweigh the disadvantages. First,many students and workers
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
chosee
Correct your spelling
choose
tube
Correct article usage
the tube
show examples
 or bus
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
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 to school, university or company. As we know, traffic jams are more and more serious, and
this
 way can help reduce carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
Secondly
, the
pulic
Correct your spelling
public
 of ways to many publics is economic.
Car's
Change noun form
Car
show examples
 oil gas is very high,and the bus or tube is very cheap. It can reduce
people
 living's
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. Third,
due to
 the development of technology,
people
 can email or chat
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
 and so on communicate online, it can help
people
 communicate more fast and easy.
Last
 but not
leas
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
,
people
 can study or work online, and
people
 can go everywhere
rely
Correct word choice
and rely
show examples
 on public transport.
Overall
, I think the improvements in communicant technology and transport
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 nice.It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
 more easy and comfortable.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly. For example, when mentioning the cost-effectiveness of public transport, you could add more details or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is connected logically to the next. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to demonstrate your points effectively. This will show a deeper engagement with the topic and provide a clearer picture to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the beginning and end of your argument.
task achievement
You acknowledge both technological and transport improvements as reasons for increased mobility, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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