Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #waste #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In an ever-progressive society, the benefits and drawbacks of the Olympic games are controversial discussion points.

While

Linking Words

some people believe it requires a

lot

Use synonyms

of revenue,

this

Linking Words

writer contends that it brings

countries

Use synonyms

closer and

also

Linking Words

takes the opportunity to boost

tourism

Use synonyms

. Central to

this

Linking Words

situation is the point that the Olympic games can make the international relations between

countries

Use synonyms

become closer.

In other words

Linking Words

, the event will create a

lot

Use synonyms

of play courts that impress many states around the world, which is a hopeful time to increase solidarity and contribute to

improve better

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

relations.

For example

Linking Words

, the Olympics which was held in Japan

last

Linking Words

year helped Asian

countries

Use synonyms

gain support forces from European

countries

Use synonyms

after the

events

Use synonyms

As a consequence

Linking Words

, all nations can connect with others and unite into a supportive group.

However

Linking Words

, there is another perspective that organised sports

events

Use synonyms

need to use a

lot

Use synonyms

of money which can be used for other meaningful purposes. They argue that it does not add any value but rather places financial pressure on the host that they need to prompt the fortune and select carefully before a year, requiring a

lot

Use synonyms

in labour and decoration.

This

Linking Words

is credible, but to solve

this

Linking Words

issue, the organizing committees change many locations and find many sources of investment from

countries

Use synonyms

where the event is held.

While

Linking Words

personal freedoms are an important consideration, the evidence regarding sports

events

Use synonyms

creates more opportunities to improve

tourism

Use synonyms

. To clarify

this

Linking Words

point, think about the famous rate a country obtained after the event occurs,

this

Linking Words

helps people know more nations that the main reason makes

tourism

Use synonyms

developing.

For instance

Linking Words

, after the World Cup 2018 happened, Argentina and other

countries

Use synonyms

took part in earned a large amount of profit from

tourism

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

other service industries.

Hence

Linking Words

, the income that can

gain

Wrong verb form

be gained

show examples

from sports

events

Use synonyms

is the primary point advance of

tourism

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, despite many opinions that the Olympic games are a waste of money,

this

Linking Words

writer believes they bring a

lot

Use synonyms

of benefits for

countries

Use synonyms

to join in.

Therefore

Linking Words

, making states' connections harder and contributing to enhancing

tourism

Use synonyms

is one of the main blessings.

Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion that rounds off your points well. However, the points about personal freedom in your third paragraph are somewhat irrelevant to the topic and weaken your response.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow within and between paragraphs. Try to link each paragraph more clearly to ensure a smoother transition between ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the discussion effectively.

relevant specific examples

You provided relevant specific examples such as the Japan Olympics and the World Cup 2018 to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

356 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

foster global unity
international camaraderie
cultural exchange
mutual understanding
platform for showcasing
national pride
human achievement
economic benefits
influx of tourism
boost local economies
infrastructure investments
long-term benefits
enormous costs
pressing social issues
white elephants
poor return on investment
environmental impact
short-lived event

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
these days some countries' governments are encouraging industries also businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities this essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion
4.5
band
Few young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study and work in cities. What are the reason? do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Nowadays, careers plays an essential role in our lives. Also, a number of people especially youngsters prefer to relocate to urban areas not only for facilities, but also to study or work in the best companies. Although, we have a host of pros about this argue some cons can not be overlooked.
8.5
band
You have arranged to rent a new apartment, but will not be able to move in immediately due to some personal difficulties. Write a letter to the apartment owner. In your letter • describe the situation • explain why you won't be able to move in right now • say that you would like to move in at a later date.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this to discuss the change in dates of our lease due to unforeseen circumstances that occurred lately. As we agreed, I am supposed to move to my apartment on 02nd July. Unfortunately, that is not possible now because my exam schedule has been updated and was released yesterday.
<4
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
I thought both statements can be accepted in society. I have learned Sociology in my undergraduate program and still remember that education is one tool called social elevator. Education is a process for someone to get a better life through a good job. In education, students will learn both practically and theoretically about something they are interested in. When students are highly skilled, then they can get more opportunities to find a good job. But, I think most people forget about soft skills during the education program they run. Such as, persistence, adaptation, flexibility, curiosity, collaboration, or anything else that is not seen by students directly.
4.5
band
In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that it it the best way to study at home in place of students moving to school. From my perspective, I disagree totally with those ideas and this essay will address the reasons for my views.

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Few young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study and work in cities. What are the reason? do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?