Our personalities are predefined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing can be done to change our character traits to what extent do you agree?
The question of whether
people
character has predefined and we can't change it has ignited considerable debate. There are 2 Change noun form
people's
reasons
that
why I disagree Correct word choice
apply
this
genes is
the only reason to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
affect
our personalities. I believe that we can change our Wrong verb form
affects
characteristic
when we Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
were
growing. Wrong verb form
are
This
essay will talk abou
two Correct your spelling
about
reasons
, family and differect
Correct your spelling
different
cities
Change noun form
cities'
city's
culture
.
Family affects our Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
growing
and Replace the word
growth
charactristic
. Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
A
open-minded family Change the article
An
made
children more cheerful. Wrong verb form
makes
For example
, if father
and mother became a good listener, Correct article usage
the father
kid
would share more about himself. Add an article
the kid
a kid
That is
good for kid
growing. Opposite side, if Add an article
a kid
kid
were growing up in a bad Add an article
the kid
a kid
familly
, no one Correct your spelling
family
care
about him, Wrong verb form
cared
kid
would become less confident. Add an article
the kid
a kid
Also
some Add a comma
Also,
people
think that if there are more than one kids
family, Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids
become more happy. Because they have friends. They can share with others. So if the kid
had sister
or brother, he Correct article usage
a sister
maybe
become more Correct your spelling
may
empathy
. Family is a Replace the word
empathetic
signitficant
Correct your spelling
significant
reasons
Change the noun form
reason
affect
children.
Another reason is Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
different
Correct article usage
the different
cities
Change noun form
cities'
city's
culture
Replace the word
cultural
reason
. Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
People
grow
up in Correct pronoun usage
who grow
differcult
Correct your spelling
different
cities
would get differcult
personalities. Correct your spelling
different
For example
, kids
born in Japan, kids
are always polite and keep emotion in Correct pronoun usage
their heart
heart
. Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
Kids
born in Hong Kong, they offen
do anything fastly and always Correct your spelling
often
compaint
others. Correct your spelling
complaint
Kids
born in US
, maybe they will have more Correct article usage
the US
own
Correct word choice
apply
option
. Fix the agreement mistake
options
It
is because different Correct pronoun usage
This
cities
have their educational
Correct word choice
own educational
culture
. It is an important reasons
for Correct the article-noun agreement
reason
kids
mature
.
In sumFix the infinitive
to mature
up
, Change preposition
apply
people
personalities are not predefined Change noun form
people's
as a result
of our genes. It's
Unnecessary verb
It
also
despend
on our family and Correct your spelling
depends
culture
Replace the word
cultural
reasons
. I believe that everyone can change chacracticristic
in life.Correct your spelling
characteristic
Submitted by asllchkied on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are fully addressed and well-developed.
task achievement
Work on ensuring each paragraph clearly relates to the main thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and make sure they are used correctly.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to deepen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that align with the topic.
task achievement
The writer has offered examples to support their view, which makes parts of the argument more tangible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!