More and more citizens relying on private cars as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Nowadays,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
becoming
one
of the most popular types of
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
in many parts of the world.
This
essay covers the problems that might occur as the number of
cars
keeps growing,
as well as
the possible solution to
this
issue.
One
of the most significant problems
due to
the rising number of
car
ownership
Replace the word
owners
show examples
is the increase in
traffic
. The more
cars
are used by every individual, the less space there will be on the road which leads to crowding and long
traffic
.
Moreover
,
traffic
often causes stress to most people and if
this
continues for a long time it will affect
one
's mental health condition. On top of that, the stress from
traffic
might
also
bother
one
's performance at work or school.
For example
, Indonesia is known as a
car
-centric country where
one
person can purchase multiple vehicles since there are no strict
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
about
this
matter.
As a consequence
, the number of
car
users keeps increasing and the
traffic
has become a common thing during rush hour. The most realistic solution to
this
phenomenon is for the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
to make a strict
regulation
regarding
car
ownership and every citizen must
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the necessary conditions of having a
car
such
as having
garage
Add an article
a garage
the garage
show examples
to park the
car
. They should
also
make policies regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
finance as a vast majority of people buy a
car
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
show examples
.
For instance
, the government in Singapore created a
regulation
for
car
ownership where the citizens can only own a
car
for 10 years, after the period ends they must report that the
car
has been sold to other parties or they will receive
penalty
Add an article
a penalty
show examples
.
As a result
, not only
this
regulation
stops
Correct subject-verb agreement
stop
show examples
the overreliance on
cars
, but
also
reduces the
traffic
as Singaporeans have no choice
than taking
Wrong verb form
but to take
show examples
public transportation.
To conclude
, the overreliance
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars
in some countries can lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
which might affect
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
and the solution is in the
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
of the government to create strict
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
to control
car
purchases in the country.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to improve the coherence between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Expand your ideas further to cover the topic more comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate the points you are making.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task by identifying a key problem related to overreliance on cars and proposed a realistic solution.
Task Achievement
The example of Singapore's regulation was relevant and illustrated your point effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overreliance
  • environmental pollution
  • carbon emissions
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • traffic congestion
  • commuters
  • urban sprawl
  • public health issues
  • obesity
  • respiratory ailments
  • resource depletion
  • fossil fuels
  • environmental degradation
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