It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks overweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, individuals all over the world dare to try
in
new environments and they think it is one of the useful Change preposition
apply
way
to Change to a plural noun
ways
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
at
private Change preposition
in
life
and become specialist
at work. Both professional and personal Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
life
play important Fix the agreement mistake
lives
role
in our lifelong. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
roles
benefits
of taking risks Correct article usage
the benefits
overweigh
its drawbacks.
First of all, whether a person Verb problem
outweigh
take
a chance in any area, in Change the verb form
takes
this
case
they need to be aware of possible circumstances that can occur. Everyone has to give up something in order to get Add the comma(s)
case,
better
Add an article
a better
life
. For instance
, celebrities, there are so many people that they have stepped out of their comfort zone and decided to create new and advanced lifestyle
. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
Although
sometimes there are some negative possibilities in being in
Change preposition
apply
uncertainity
. Correct your spelling
uncertain
However
, people need to take into account certain difficulties, struggle
with them Correct word choice
and struggle
untill
they get Correct your spelling
until
the
positive result.
Correct article usage
a
Same
case Change the article
The same
also
affects our personal life
. I believe that, if someone wants to get rid of their
problems in their personal Change the word
the
life
, then
they should gave
up something that Change the verb form
give
disturb
them Change the verb form
disturbs
at
all. As an example, one of the main Change preposition
apply
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
in
our Change preposition
of
life
is husband or wife. This
kind of relationships
always Fix the agreement mistake
relationship
necessitate
support and care. I someone is under Change the verb form
necessitates
the
pressure in their family, in those Correct article usage
apply
cases
there is Add a comma
cases,
call
Add an article
a call
the call
for
Change preposition
to
push
the boundaries.
In conclusion, from my perspective, taking risks in several spheres Change the verb form
pushing
exceed
its disadvantages. Getting avoid Correct subject-verb agreement
exceeds
from
Change preposition
of
comfort
zone always Correct pronoun usage
our comfort
improve
our Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
wellbeing
, lifestyle, self confidence and Correct your spelling
well-being
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
spiritually
better community.Correct article usage
a spiritually
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task achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples and evidence to support your points in both professional and personal risk-taking scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You effectively address both professional and personal risk-taking, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite