It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks overweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risk #lives #risks #overweigh

Nowadays, individuals all over the world dare to try

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apply

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new environments and they think it is one of the useful

way

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ways

show examples

excell

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excel

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private

life

and become

specialist

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specialists

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at work. Both professional and personal

life

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lives

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play important

role

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roles

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in our lifelong. In my opinion,

benefits

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the benefits

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of taking risks

overweigh

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outweigh

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its drawbacks. First of all, whether a person

take

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takes

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a chance in any area, in

this

case

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case,

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they need to be aware of possible circumstances that can occur. Everyone has to give up something in order to get

better

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a better

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life

For instance

, celebrities, there are so many people that they have stepped out of their comfort zone and decided to create new and advanced

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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Although

sometimes there are some negative possibilities in being

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apply

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uncertainity

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uncertain

However

, people need to take into account certain difficulties,

struggle

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and struggle

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with them

untill

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until

they get

the

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positive result.

Same

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The same

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case

also

affects our personal

life

. I believe that, if someone wants to get rid of

their

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the

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problems in their personal

life

then

they should

gave

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give

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up something that

disturb

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disturbs

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them

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apply

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all. As an example, one of the main

aspect

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aspects

show examples

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our

life

is husband or wife.

This

kind of

relationships

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relationship

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always

necessitate

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necessitates

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support and care. I someone is under

the

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apply

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pressure in their family, in those

cases

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cases,

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there is

call

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a call

the call

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for

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push

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pushing

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the boundaries. In conclusion, from my perspective, taking risks in several spheres

exceed

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exceeds

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its disadvantages. Getting avoid

from

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comfort

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our comfort

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zone always

improve

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improves

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our

wellbeing

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well-being

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, lifestyle, self confidence and

support

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supports

show examples

spiritually

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a spiritually

show examples

better community.

Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on Thu Oct 10 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more concrete examples and evidence to support your points in both professional and personal risk-taking scenarios.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

task achievement

You effectively address both professional and personal risk-taking, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Calculated risk
Professional growth
Career advancement
Self-discovery
Adaptability
Resilience
Financial insecurity
Competitive job market
Self-development
Informed decision-making

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks overweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiul while others feel their functionality is more important discuss both sides and your opinion

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the one company for their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?