IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a strong debate among people whether old
buildings
Use synonyms
 should be replaced with new
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
keep them
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 the way
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
show examples
. Some individuals claim that new
buildings
Use synonyms
 are much safer and nicer appearance
while
Linking Words
 others want to keep them as a
refernce
Correct your spelling
reference
 of the culture.
Although
Linking Words
 both views with merit, in my opinion, protecting old
buildings
Use synonyms
 is a must because it represents the history and culture of the
city
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay, will discuss both
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 and
mentoin
Correct your spelling
mention
 the reasons behind their claims. On the one hand, some people demand to protect and keep old
houses
Use synonyms
 and
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
due to
Linking Words
 its importance to the history of the
city
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as the UK
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 proud
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 castles which
built
Add a missing verb
were built
show examples
cenuries
Correct your spelling
centuries
 before.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these old residences can be a place to visit by tourists.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
keen
Add a missing verb
is keen
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keep
this
Linking Words
 history without changes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others demand to create modern
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of unpleasant old ones.
Due to
Linking Words
 technology
advanecment
Correct your spelling
advancement
advancements
, new
houses
Use synonyms
 tend to be safer and nicer in shape and quality.
For instance
Linking Words
, some new
houses
Use synonyms
 have
desined
Correct your spelling
decided
designed
 to call 911 in case
fire
Correct article usage
a fire
show examples
 or
rubbery
Correct your spelling
robbery
show examples
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
. Another reason is
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 inventing a new specific building design,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might represent the
city
Use synonyms
 in the future.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of replacing the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 with new ones, the
city
Use synonyms
 council should find a solution to merge both views at the same time. As long as old
houses
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 far from falling and hurting the owners,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should stay protected because it is the identity of the local society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your argument. Including specific names, dates, or data can make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the clear flow of ideas within your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive structures and phrases. Use a variety of sentence structures to better engage the reader.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay well and keeps it organized.
task achievement
Your essay clearly discusses both views of the topic and states your opinion, which is part of effectively addressing the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: