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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offence (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offence (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#bar #people #type #offence #crime #information #features
The presented bar chart
compare
Change the verb form
compares
show examples
 data about the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who
arrested
Add a missing verb
were arrested
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
crime
.
Overall
, the statistics for violence against the person and theft and handling stolen goods in
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
gender
 were higher than others, and robbery offence was the
lowset
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
 level in both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
.
According to
 the bar chart,
it is clear that
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of
Add an article
the female
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
gender
 who their violence against
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person
crime
 was equal
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 34% and for theft and handling stolen
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
crime
 it
equal
Change the verb form
equals
show examples
 around 31%.
Following
this
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
male
Add an article
the male
show examples
 side in violence against the person
crime
almost
Add a missing verb
was almost
show examples
 31% and for theft and handling stolen goods was equal to 20%.
Therefore
, the lowest
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 for both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 were
robby
Change the capitalization
Robby
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 and fraud and forgery, for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
robby
Correct your spelling
were
 roughly around 1%
while
 fraud and forgery
almost
Add a missing verb
were almost
show examples
 3%.
Similarly
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 it nearly 2%.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, gender with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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