More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

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It is apparent that nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are considering
to move
Change the verb form
moving
show examples
from rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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to urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
to make a living.
This
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occurrence
effects
Verb problem
results
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on increase
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in increased
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crime rates and
traffic
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congestion
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in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
. To address these problems, the
government
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should provide opportunities to grow small
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and increase public transport
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
This
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essay will explore the reasons and mention possible solutions.
Firstly
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, competition for jobs in big cities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
easy
Rephrase
as easy
show examples
as expected. Big companies require high
requirement
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requirements
show examples
while
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the opportunities to get a job are small.
This
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could be a problem for
people
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who
does
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do
show examples
not meet the requirement and they usually do anything to survive. Committing criminal crimes is one way to survive,
such
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as stealing and scamming.
Secondly
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, more
people
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living in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
leads to
traffic
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congestion
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on the roads.
For instance
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, Jakarta is a metropolitan
city
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where a lot of
people
Use synonyms
come to work using their own
vehicle
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which
is makes
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makes
show examples
congestion
Use synonyms
.
This
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
takes
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take
show examples
longer to
goes
Wrong verb form
go
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to
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from
show examples
one place to another
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
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contributes to air pollution. To improve
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this situations
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this situation
these situations
show examples
, the
government
Use synonyms
needs to pay attention to their
people
Use synonyms
. Create opportunities
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
run their own
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and guide them to grow their
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
For example
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, Indonesia has a small enterprise called Micro, Small and Medium Enterprise (MSME) which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to grow
business
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the
government
Use synonyms
should provide
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interconnected public transportation and many
Use synonyms
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
show examples
so
Change preposition
to
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
on
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with
show examples
traffic
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congestion
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries build
a
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apply
show examples
good urban planning that
support
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supports
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to use a lot of public transportation or go on
walk
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walks
show examples
.
This
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will decrease the
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
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jams
show examples
in big cities
such
Linking Words
as Jakarta. In conclusion, the idea of
people
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considering
to move
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moving
show examples
from
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
city
Use synonyms
to
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
will
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle. Some criminal acts and long
traffic
Use synonyms
jams might occur in
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
the
government
Use synonyms
should
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to grow small
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and increase public transport
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent use of singular and plural forms and pay attention to article usage for improved grammatical accuracy.
Lexical Resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to articulate points more clearly and enhance the essay's sophistication.
Task Achievement
The essay covers both parts of the task: discussing consequences and offering solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Key ideas are logically structured and supported with examples, like the mention of Jakarta and MSME.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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