More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?
It is apparent that nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
people
are considering to move
from rural Change the verb form
moving
area
to urban Fix the agreement mistake
areas
area
to make a living. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
This
occurrence effects
Verb problem
results
on increase
crime rates and Change preposition
in increased
traffic
congestion
in city
. To address these problems, the Add an article
the city
government
should provide opportunities to grow small business
and increase public transport Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
vehicle
. Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
This
essay will explore the reasons and mention possible solutions.
Firstly
, competition for jobs in big cities are
not Change the verb form
is
easy
as expected. Big companies require high Rephrase
as easy
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
while
the opportunities to get a job are small. This
could be a problem for people
who does
not meet the requirement and they usually do anything to survive. Committing criminal crimes is one way to survive, Change the verb form
do
such
as stealing and scamming. Secondly
, more people
living in city
leads to Add an article
the city
a city
traffic
congestion
on the roads. For instance
, Jakarta is a metropolitan city
where a lot of people
come to work using their own vehicle
which is makes
Change the verb form
makes
congestion
. This
is
not only Unnecessary verb
apply
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
takes
longer to Change the verb form
take
goes
Wrong verb form
go
to
one place to anotherChange preposition
from
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
contributes to air pollution.
To improve this situations
, the Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
government
needs to pay attention to their people
. Create opportunities to
Change preposition
for to
people
run their own business
and guide them to grow their Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
business
. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
For example
, Indonesia has a small enterprise called Micro, Small and Medium Enterprise (MSME) which help
to grow Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
business
. Furthermore
, the government
should provide an
interconnected public transportation and many Correct article usage
apply
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
so
Change preposition
to
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
on
Change preposition
with
traffic
congestion
. For instance
, the
developed countries build Correct article usage
apply
a
good urban planning that Remove the article
apply
support
Change the verb form
supports
people
to use a lot of public transportation or go on walk
. Fix the agreement mistake
walks
This
will decrease the traffic
jam
in big cities Fix the agreement mistake
jams
such
as Jakarta.
In conclusion, the idea of people
considering to move
from Change the verb form
moving
small
Correct article usage
a small
city
to big
Correct article usage
a big
city
will impacts
Change the verb form
impact
on
their lifestyle. Some criminal acts and long Change preposition
apply
traffic
jams might occur in big
Add an article
a big
the big
city
, Fix the agreement mistake
cities
therefore
the government
should helps
Change the verb form
help
people
to grow small business
and increase public transport Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
vehicle
.Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Grammar
Ensure consistent use of singular and plural forms and pay attention to article usage for improved grammatical accuracy.
Lexical Resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to articulate points more clearly and enhance the essay's sophistication.
Task Achievement
The essay covers both parts of the task: discussing consequences and offering solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Key ideas are logically structured and supported with examples, like the mention of Jakarta and MSME.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...